I live in a lake community.  My house is actually a solid mile from the lake, and I can't see the lake or smell it (which is good -- lakes smell gross), but I'm considered part of the community.  Everybody around me has a boat or a jetski or something.  And to celebrate every event, every night of the week, for any occasion whatsoever, people use fireworks.  Constantly.  What could possibly be celebrated on a Tuesday night in June?  And at 10pm?  I just don't understand people.  It would be one thing if it only happened once or twice.  But this literally happens every night of the week, all summer long.  Usually around 9:30 or 10pm.  I can think of about 3 events to celebrate with fireworks: 
  1. Birthdays
  2. Graduations
  3. Anniversaries
That's all I can come up with.  You wouldn't celebrate your bar mitzvah with fireworks.  You wouldn't celebrate the birth of a child with fireworks.  You wouldn't celebrate a first tooth, a baseball game win, or a new car purchase with fireworks.  Well, maybe you would use fireworks for some of these, but you'd probably save it for a Friday or Saturday.  Not a Tuesday. 

I can think of at least 3 reasons why you wouldn't or shouldn't use fireworks to celebrate things:
  1. They're illegal in New Jersey, so you have to go out of your way to get them.  Plus, their bright lights and loud noise make it easy to pinpoint the person who illegally transported explosives across the state border.
  2. It was 92°F yesterday.  Why don't you just throw lit matches into some dry grass or throw your lit cigarette out the window?  Oh wait, you already do that.
  3. They're stupid.  If you're gonna do fireworks, don't just get 3 or 4 and light them off every few minutes.  Spend a fortune and make it worthwhile.
#sociology