When I used to drink a lot of beer, I earned the nickname "walnut" for my supposedly minuscule bladder.  But people who know me know that my small bladder isn't only active when I'm at a bar; it's active all the time.  I don't know what the deal is, but I'm a frequent visitor to the bathroom.  I attribute it to my impeccable health, seeing that my body quickly and efficiently processes liquids and gets rid of them.  Hey, whatever. 

Since I'm in the bathroom a lot, I've noticed a weird pattern:  I always see the same people.  I work near about 30 people, 28 of which are men.  Every time I go to the bathroom, I either see (a) my boss, (b) the Asian guy, or (c) a guy from the other end of the hall.  What's the deal?  I guess it can be assumed these people all have the same size bladder as me.  But what about all the other people?  When do they go to the bathroom?  Why have I never seen certain people in there?  Don't the laws of physics and biology guarantee that I should see each person in the bathroom at least once or twice?  It's not that I like greeting people in the bathroom.  In fact, I hate it.  It's just that I think it's weird that not only do I never see certain people in the bathroom, I keep seeing the same ones at the exact moment I happen to go in there.  Apparently, we're all on the same schedule. #entertainment