I respect garbagemen (I feel I can use the masculine form because I've never seen or heard of a garbagewoman).  They have a relatively thankless job that would cause some minor problems and major inconveniences if it didn't exist.  We routinely accept the fact that if we put garbage out on the curb in the morning, it'll be gone by the time we get home from work at night.  What a concept.  I wish the vacuum cleaner or the steak dinner worked the same way. 

However, I have two complaints about garbage collection. 

1.  How hard can it possibly be to put the can back in the driveway? 



I feel like this should go without saying:  Leaving the can in the road causes problems.  First of all, it causes traffic problems.  People come close to getting in accidents because of trash cans left in the road.  There's a can on a road near my house that's about half a mile from the nearest house, and it's crushed and beaten.  That's what happens to an abandoned trash can.  Second, according to the laws of physics, the can will inevitably either (a) roll away to the farthest location physically possible or (b) roll to the center of the road, and even if it's on its side, will stay directly in the center of the road.  This can neither be argued nor avoided.  Oh wait, yes it can.  It can be avoided by putting the can back in the driveway.  Logic tells me that an empty trash can weighs much less than a full one, so throwing it back in the driveway should be infinitely easier than lugging it to the truck. 

2.  How do you get the lid off my garbage can? 



Seriously, I don't understand.  The can is equipped with a very sophisticated locking system that can really only be undone with careful maneuvering.  Yet somehow, the lid is always off my garbage can when I get home.  The last thing I want to do after a long day of work is come home to a disassembled garbage can that I need to reassemble.  The reassembly process is at least 5 steps long: 
  1. Gather can and lid that are mysteriously separated by 15 feet.
  2. Align one side of lid latch to appropriate side of can attachment point.
  3. Insert directionally specific attaching mechanism into latch opening.
  4. Stretch other side of lid over opposite side of can attachment point.
  5. Insert other directionally specific attaching mechanism into other latch opening.
Again, thank you garbagemen for the dirty and thankless job you do.  But seriously, stop leaving cans in the road and stop taking the lid off my can. #lifestyle