Delayed opening (3) Mar 2, 2006
The term "delayed opening" is a combination of two simple words that come together to form one of the best phrases in the English language.  People that live in snow-laden areas know what this means.  I wonder if southerners or other hot-weather-dwellers have something similar. 

Probably the best thing about a delayed opening is that it's usually unexpected.  When I was a kid and we had a delayed opening at school, my mom would come wake me up at some ungodly hour (because she worked at the school and found out early) to tell me to set my alarm later.  The feeling of sleeping in when you weren't planning on sleeping in is a great thing.  My current employer still has delayed openings (something about it being too expensive to pay the road crew overtime to come in early, so instead they pay all the rest of the employees for time spent at home).  When I get up in the morning and see snow out my window, I call a phone number and hope to hear those beautiful words spoken into my ear.  "There is a delayed opening this morning.  We will be opening at 9am." 

Unfortunately, we didn't have a delayed opening this morning.  When I left my house at 7:30am, it was just starting to come down.  Now, as I'm looking out my window at work and watching the snow pile up on my car, I'm hoping to hear those other beautiful words strung together to form an even more beautiful phrase:  "early dismissal". #psychology
Bible census Mar 2, 2006
I was reading from the book of Numbers this morning and learned something I didn't know before (yes, new things can be learned from the book of Numbers):  In chapter 26, a census is taken of all the men 20 years old or more who are able to serve in Israel's army.  This number turns out to be 601,730.  I flipped back to the other census taken in chapter 2, where it said the total number was 603,550.  I thought it was kind of weird that there were less people for the second census, seeing that this census was taken about 40 years after the first one.  Then I continued reading in chapter 26:  "Not one of them was among those counted by Moses and Aaron the priest when they counted the Israelites in the Desert of Sinai." (Numbers 26:64).  This is because the people got sick of waiting for God and complained about living in the desert.  So God said he wouldn't let any of those people enter the promised land (Numbers 14:21-23).  When this second census was taken some 40 years later, none of the same people were there.  So God's promise held true, and the Israelites weren't completely wiped out.  I was always confused by the part where God said he wouldn't allow the people to see the promised land.  I wondered how anyone would have seen the promised land if they were all wiped out.  Now I get it.  He was only talking about the men 20 years old or more who could serve in the army.  That doesn't include the women and the children ("Won't someone please think of the children?").  And it doesn't include the generations of people produced in the span of 40 years. #religion
Autoformat Mar 1, 2006
Here's what I think my computer is thinking whenever I've been Microsofted by Autoformatting (a term referring to the problems encountered when Microsoft products try to automatically change or format your text, spacing, or style and end up causing more problems than if they didn't try to automatically do anything at all): 

"Hi my name is Microsoft.  I know what you're trying to do.  You're trying to write a letter.  Here, let me align certain sections to the right and insert certain key phrases to make it look more like a letter.  There ya go.  You're welcome." 

"Hi my name is Microsoft.  I know what you're trying to do.  You're trying to make an outline, and you'd like me to automatically indent each line and automatically number and letter each line.  There ya go.  You're welcome." 

"Hi my name is Microsoft.  I know what you're trying to do.  You're trying to insert a picture.  I'll go ahead and change the text and formatting of the current section so it'll fit your out-of-place, oversized picture.  Then I'll make it impossible to reposition the picture.  Because that's what you're trying to do.  And I know it.  You're welcome." 

"Hi my name is Microsoft.  I know what you're trying to do.  You're trying to copy multiple 'snippets' of text to the clipboard.  Let me open up the 'Office Clipboard' to help make this easier.  There ya go.  You're welcome." #technology
ATMs Mar 1, 2006
The Automated Teller Machine is a great invention.  You don't have to talk to anyone or write anything down.  You can just press some buttons and get some cash.  Good deal. 

...except when ATMs are out of cash, like the Wachovia in Landing, NJ.  It's one of those ATMs with no bank attached to it; just an island in the middle of a parking lot.  I went to it last night to get some money.  I put in my card, typed in my PIN, and pressed some buttons to get cash out of my checking account.  And then it tells me, "We're sorry, this machine is temporarily unable to dispense cash."  What do you mean "unable to dispense cash"?  What other purpose does an ATM serve other than to dispense cash?  Yes, I know it has balance-checking and money-transfer capabilities, but who goes to the ATM to do stupid things like that?  And why did this stupid machine wait until I inserted my stupid card and pressed a bunch of stupid buttons before it stupidly told me this?  Couldn't it say it at the beginning so it wouldn't waste my time?  That really burns me up. 

I went back to it this morning before work, and it was covered by a big plastic thing that said it was out of service.  I was mad, but definitely a lot less mad than if it had done the same thing as last night. #money
Jetpack Mar 1, 2006
There's a guy in Mexico that designed and built his own jetpack.  It enables him to fly about 30 feet in the air for about 30 seconds.  He's not quite as good as this guy, who uses technology similar to the Bell Rocket Belt to fly for an extended period of time with amazing accuracy and stability.  (via Digg) #technology
Rotating electrical outlets Feb 28, 2006
360 Electrical is a company that makes duplex electrical outlets where each receptacle rotates 360 degrees.  So plugs that normally take up both spots now only need one.  I'm not sure this would solve the problem entirely, but I think it's a cool idea.  (via Digg) #technology
Free FM Feb 28, 2006
This thing called Free FM that I keep hearing about on the radio is part of a huge "thing" created by Infinity Broadcasting (radio division of CBS) that's basically a dig at paid services like XM and Sirius.  They say the "free" word is supposed to indicate freedom of personality and expression.  But actually it's a reminder that regular radio is still free, as opposed to those evil paid services (which I'll probably try eventually).  Radio station 92.3 K-ROCK (WXRK) adopted the new format on January 3, 2006 and it changed its call letters to WFNY-FM.  I realized this wasn't just a local thing when I heard several other Free FMs on the way to and from Virginia. 

A lot of radio stations also keep talking about "HD Digital", which is the next best thing since the invention of water.  Basically, it has something to do with upgrading the signal to improve sound quality.  It also means that stations can have several different "multicasts", which is like splitting a single channel into several different ones:  104.3 becomes 104.3-1 and 104.3-2.  But the bottom line in all this is that it's another way for traditional radio to compete with satellite radio, which I think is basically impossible.  As soon as my car comes pre-installed with a satellite radio receiver, I'll fork over that $13 a month.  I'll willing to pay for good things.  Sometimes. #entertainment
Hey boss (1) Feb 28, 2006
I love when people call me boss.  Especially since I'm no one's boss.  It usually happens at gas stations and fast food restaurants.  "Hey boss, what can I get ya?"  "You got it, boss."  I love it.  It makes me feel so important even when I'm totally not.  It's like getting good service. #psychology
Progress bar (1) Feb 24, 2006
The progress bar is a great invention in computerland.  It performs the mighty feat of telling how much of a task is completed in terms of a percentage.  This is great because if a task is 35% complete and it's been working for a minute, you know that you have a while longer to wait, so you can go do something else while your dumb-dumb slow computer completes a simple little task. 

To the creator of the progress bar, I ask these questions: 

1.  What's the point of a progress bar making it all the way to the end and then starting over from the beginning?  It's like it's saying, "Hey I'm done.  Oh wait, just kidding.  Ok I'm done again.  Nope, not really.  I'm really done now.  Or am I?" 

2.  Why does stuff keep happening even after the progress bar is filled up?  This seems to be a bit illogical.  Shouldn't it only say it's 100% complete when it's actually complete?  Towards the end of the process, shouldn't it say it's 99% complete until it's actually complete? 

I guess some questions just can't be answered. #technology
The record (3) Feb 24, 2006
When I was a 3rd-grade student at McKeown Elementary School, they used to teach us multiplication and division the right way:  Memorization of tables.  I don't remember exactly how they taught it (like was it the same thing every day or did we count M&Ms some days?), but I remember learning a certain number at a time.  For example, we'd focus on the number 7 by listing the product of 7 and every number up to 10.  7x1=7, 7x2=14, 7x3=21 ... 7x10=70.  Then we'd go to the next number and do the same thing.  I think we did every number from 1 to 10; 11 and up get complicated. 

The part that I disagreed with was the testing method.  They used this thing called "the record", which was literally a vinyl record with a person saying, "5 times 6 ...  3 times 8 ...  7 times 2 ..." while the students feverishly filled in the answers on their sheet.  There were several variations of the record:  One variation focused on certain numbers, depending on how many multiplication tables you had learned.  The other variation was in the speed at which the person spoke.  Some records used a 5 second pause.  Others used a 3 second pause.  Still others used an even shorter pause.  Obviously, the shorter the pause, the harder the test. 

The reason I disagree with the record as a testing method is because of the trauma is caused in the lives of the students.  The record was continuous:  Once it started, it didn't stop until the end.  If you missed one, you had to forget about it and move on.  Sure that sounds easy for a "grown-up" like me, but it's not the same with 8-year-olds.  There's this weird thing that happens when people feel overwhelmed.  It's called a "meltdown".  There was a meltdown during every one of these tests.  Halfway through the test, a kid would burst into tears because they lost their place or couldn't keep up.  But the teacher never stopped the record.  Like I said, once it started, it didn't stop until the end.  So some poor kid would sit there sobbing because there was no way to figure out what number the record was on.  It didn't say, "Number 3:  5 times 6 ... Number 4:  3 times 8 ..."  And since it was just multiplication or division, there was no partial credit.  There was no "almost" or "close".  It was right or wrong.  There's nothing like telling a kid they failed because they're too slow at multiplication.  Ah, the joy of being a teacher. 

The record needs to be experienced to be fully understood.  My explanation of it can't possibly do it justice.  Talk to any McKeown School student from the 80s-90s, and they'll know what I'm talking about.  With utter fear in their voice, they'll say, "Oh yes ... I remember the record ..." #math