I know I've said this about other things in the past, but I found the 1 or 2 awesomest words in the English language:  Self-checkout.  There's nothing better than buying your stuff at a grocery, hardware, or miscellaneous store and going through the self-checkout.  It's just so liberating.  And here's why: 

1. You can prove to yourself that you can use simple electronics.
2. You don't have to talk to or interact with anyone.
3. You don't have to listen to some facetious teenager ask you if you found everything you were looking and if you'd be interested in applying for a credit card.
4. You don't have to watch some disgruntled employee bang your apples around like they own them.
5. You don't have to let someone put your ice cream, your bread, and your eggs in the same bag.
6. You don't have to deal with someone looking at you thinking, "Do you even know how to use caulk?"
7. You don't have to try to think of a rationalization for buying $20 worth of candy and Little Debbie products.
8. You don't have to feel weird about buying colored underwear.
9. You don't have to pretend you're buying a nose hair trimmer for "your friend".
10. You get the satisfaction of knowing you could do these peoples' jobs.  Sorry, but it's true.

#business

I'll go out on a limb here and admit the unthinkable; the thing that will destroy my ever-present, ever-cool image:  I'm a huge fan of Walmart clothes.  I would say about 75% of the clothes in my closet are from Walmart.  I've bought clothes from the nicer stores and I've been satisfied.  But in order for me to feel ok about wearing nice clothes, I have to get them at great prices.  I got a bunch of shirts from J. Crew one time, but I got them from the clearance rack at a J. Crew outlet, so they were incredibly cheap.  I also bought several pairs of Gap khakis, but they were on clearance too, so they were cheap.  And not like 50% off $80.  That's not a good deal.  Yeah you're paying $40 for a pair of $80 pants, but you're still paying $40 for a pair of pants. 

Walmart clothes are always cheap.  I've never paid more than $12 for a shirt.  And they're good quality.  I like my Walmart shirts better than my J. Crew shirts.  And since Walmart makes clothes that attempt to fit in with current style, they blend in relatively well with everyone else.  I never buy those stupid metrosexual striped shirts because I'm not that kind of person.  I need bigger arms and more gel in my hair to wear shirts like that.  I buy "business casual button-down" shirts.  And Walmart is the place to go for stuff like that. #lifestyle