Mar 13, 2006
I know I've said this about other things in the past, but I found the 1 or 2 awesomest words in the English language: Self-checkout. There's nothing better than buying your stuff at a grocery, hardware, or miscellaneous store and going through the self-checkout. It's just so liberating. And here's why:
- You can prove to yourself that you can use simple electronics.
- You don't have to talk to or interact with anyone.
- You don't have to listen to some facetious teenager ask you if you found everything you were looking and if you'd be interested in applying for a credit card.
- You don't have to watch some disgruntled employee bang your apples around like they own them.
- You don't have to let someone put your ice cream, your bread, and your eggs in the same bag.
- You don't have to deal with someone looking at you thinking, "Do you even know how to use caulk?"
- You don't have to try to think of a rationalization for buying $20 worth of candy and Little Debbie products.
- You don't have to feel weird about buying colored underwear.
- You don't have to pretend you're buying a nose hair trimmer for "your friend".
- You get the satisfaction of knowing you could do these peoples' jobs. Sorry, but it's true.
On another monkey-related note, people say I look like that guy in the commercials who works with a bunch of monkeys.