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Snowboarding Tue, Jan 17, 2006
I just spent most of the day snowboarding.  ("It's a Tuesday.  Shouldn't you be at work?"  Eh...)  Here's what I noticed: 

There are 4 types of falls:  Bump/bruise, twist, slide, and hyper-extend.  I covered 3 of the 4 today.  I fell on my butt while facing uphill, which meant I also smacked my head on the ground (bump/bruise).  I went over a couple jumps and didn't quite nail the landing (slide).  And I sort of hyper-extended my elbow by trying to keep myself up while almost falling down (hyper-extend).  I'm glad I didn't have any twists.  They're usually day-enders. 

Most skiers hate snowboarders because they always fall down and get in the way.  As a snowboarder, I hate skiers because they think they're better than me and they use the whole mountain to do their big, dumb swooping moves.  And right when I try to pass them, they swoop over to me and don't even look.  Buncha jerks. 

It's been suggested that there be different hills for skiers and snowboarders.  This is an unbelievably great idea and here's why:  Snowboarding and skiing are two completely different sports.  Snowboarding involves leaning to turn and zig-zagging down the mountain to maintain a reasonable speed.  Skiing involves [something; I'm not sure what] and making big S-patterns down the mountain to maintain a reasonable speed.  Snowboarding involves falling.  Skiers are too good to fall.  On a serious note, snowboarders fall in a specific way, and this is different than how skiers fall.  By putting these things on different hills, everyone's problems would be solved.  Blammo. 

It occurred to me as I was sitting on a freezing cold gondola:  I don't really get cold because there's quite a bit of adrenaline involved.  As I've mentioned in the past, snowboarding is the most illogical thing on earth.  Speeding down the face of a mountain with a board strapped to your feet sounds ridiculous.  But somebody tried it once, and it stuck.  And so each dumb thing I do produces a lot of adrenaline in me.  I speed down the hill, I pass a few people, I dodge a few fallen people, I try to "hit" a couple jumps, I merge with another hill, I attempt to stop before hitting a crowd of people at the bottom.  These all have a certain amount of danger in them, and that danger makes my blood flow, which keeps me comfortably warm.  And it makes me forget about the bump on my head. #sports


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