I communicate goodly May 20, 2009
I was in a meeting recently where three engineers had to explain something to a lawyer.  The lawyer actually had an engineering degree as well, so that helped a little.  But the one engineer had been working in his field for 30 years, so his language matched the language he read in textbooks and research papers.  The second engineer is a ridiculously horrible communicator.  When he talks, words sort of stumble out of his mouth like they're jumping off a cliff into darkness.  My eyes bug out of my head when I hear this guy talk.  The third engineer was me, a self-proclaimed socially awkward people-avoider. 

So it was unusual and unexpected when I became the de facto translator for Team Engineer.  One guy was saying words like "gyroscopic" and "roll damping" while the other guy was saying things like "what's that equation?" and "yadda yadda testing blah blah schedule".  The lawyer looked around at us trying to make heads or tails of what the geeks were saying, so I quietly and simply piped in with a one sentence explanation that included words like "basically" and "like a football" while also avoiding any acronyms or unnecessarily complicated lingo.  It wasn't that I was dumbing it down, it was more like I was translating from geek language to human language.  After I finished speaking, the engineers both chimed in "exactly!" and the lawyer wrote feverishly in his yellow notebook. #psychology
Voice crack May 14, 2009
I work with at least two grown male adults whose voices still crack on occasion.  I can't think of a better way to look like a total idiot than to be in your 30s or 40s and sound like you're 13. #psychology
Information and details May 6, 2009
I realized two things about myself recently.  One is that I like information up front, details later.  This post talks about that.  I guess I've been trained my whole life to collect information and either store it or act on it in some way, so when information comes with unnecessary details and too much stuff up front, I get overloaded and I tune out.  It's not that I don't care about the details, it's just that I want the point of the story up front so I know what to do with the details. 

The second thing is similar but slightly different:  I don't care about the big picture; I focus on tasks.  When I receive information, if I can't use it or do something about it, I generally don't care about it and promptly forget it.  When there's news that some insurance company is being bailed out by the government, I don't really care because I can't do anything about it.  But when I hear news that there's a pandemic being spread via human-to-rabbit contact, it's at least somewhat important to me because I can do something about it. #psychology
Controlling destiny Apr 30, 2009
The subject of destiny keeps popping up on the TV shows I watch, and it always comes in the form of "you control your own destiny."  I personally think that's a misunderstanding of the word.  Destiny is "the inevitable or necessary fate" or "a predetermined course of events."  By definition, if something is inevitable or predetermined, it's no longer in your control.  It's in somebody or something else's control.  You can get to the end result through a variety of different paths, but you'll always reach the same end result. 

In popular culture, people usually differentiate between fate and destiny by saying that fate is what will happen no matter what you do, while destiny is what will happen if you do the right things.  That's fair and all, but that's not what destiny means.  It's sort of a matter of semantics, but instead of saying we can control our destiny, we should say we can control our future.  Even if that's not entirely true, at least it's not entirely false. 

As Bob Costas famously ranted during the NFL playoffs this past winter, "If it's destiny or fate, folks, you can't control it.  Control the outcome, control the result.  You can't control destiny or fate." #psychology
Comfort junkie Apr 24, 2009
It turns out I'm a pretty big comfort junkie.  I notice myself doing things simply to squeeze a little more enjoyment out of life, often to the detriment of myself and others.  Yesterday at work, it was about 0.2 degrees colder than I would've liked it to be, and instead of putting my jacket back on and just toughing it out for 30 seconds, I used the little heater sitting under my desk.  And oh, was it glorious.  I kept it on for like 3 hours, despite the fact that it gobbles electricity and it wasn't even that cold to begin with. 

I've mentioned my BBQ eating disorder before (I eat because it feels good), but it goes beyond that.  I typically try to stop eating by around 8 or 9pm because otherwise I wake up the next morning with the taste of last night's food in the back of my mouth.  But oftentimes I find myself eating until right before I go to bed simply because I enjoy the act of eating.  It's comfortable; it makes me feel good.  What a sick human being I am. #psychology
For future entertainment Apr 24, 2009
Sometimes I do things solely because they'll be funny later, and most times I'm the target audience.  For example, when the check is brought to the table at a restaurant, it usually includes a copy for the merchant as well as one for the customer, and sometimes there's a place to sign on the customer's copy, which is odd because I as the customer have no need to see whether I signed it or not.  Since it doesn't matter either way, I sign it, though I use an unusual pseudonym, usually something along the lines of Poopy Pants or Pukey Jerkface.  Then later when I'm going over my finances, I'll find the receipt and have a good laugh. #psychology
Get to the point (2) Apr 1, 2009
One fine Saturday afternoon, I was on a hike through some New Jersey woodlands when I crossed paths with some fellow hikers.  Most people don't say more than a "hi", but these guys wanted to warn me about something on the path ahead, which was a nice gesture.  Here's approximately what they said: 
"Up on the path ahead, about 20 feet, no maybe 50 feet ahead, on this path, right in the middle of the path, there's a ... *holds up hands a few feet apart* ... maybe 3, maybe 4-foot long, green, with black spots, and brown stripes, but it's hard to see because it's near some rocks and a stick, on the middle of the path, maybe 50 or 100 feet up ahead just past a big rock on the right and a tree, sitting in the middle of the path, is a big long, greenish brown ... SNAKE."
I thanked them for the warning, then proceeded to come up with about 37 different ways I could've conveyed the same amount of information with less words.  One variation is, "Watch out for the snake." 

A similar thing happened recently where a friend was telling me about the weekend he had with his teenage daughter and how it was both good and bad.  His description of their restaurant experience went something like this: 
"After skiing for most of the day, but not the whole day because we got started late, and we ended a little early because we got hungry, we went to this restaurant that was like, have you ever seen one of those train car restaurants, that's like a train car converted into a restaurant where the seats are in booths, and the booths are closed off from everybody else, and they're maybe ... *measures kitchen with his eyes* ... from here to here long, and from here to here wide, and completely enclosed, but there's a little doorway for the waiter to get in and out, but my daughter kept giggling because she's a teenager, and it was hurting my ears because we had been skiing all day and I had windburn, so I asked her to stop, but that made her giggle more, and she giggles for no reason at all, because she's a teenager, so we moved to a different table."
By the time he reached the end of the story, I was almost offended that it took that long to get to such an insignificant conclusion.  My version of the story would have been, "We moved to a different table because my daughter wouldn't stop giggling."  But no.  I had to wait through that whole thing and got no return on my investment of time.  What a gyp. #psychology
Too much chivalry (1) Mar 18, 2009
Some people complain that there's just not enough chivalry these days.  Where are the men who open doors for women?  Who carry heavy objects for women?  Who hail a cab, give up their seat, or pay for dinner? 

My complaint is that there's actually too much chivalry, and it's annoying.  I'm saying this from my male perspective, as the recipient of several acts of chivalry by other men.  I don't mind that a fellow man holds the door for me or helps me carry a heavy object.  But men shouldn't be giving up their seats for other men.  They shouldn't be insisting on paying for meals.  A line has been crossed, and depending on the circumstances it's either creepy or emasculating.  I appreciate the sentiment of respect and genuine care, but insisting on paying for my meal makes me feel like a little girl. #psychology
Summarized (2) Mar 5, 2009
I think there's great value in summarized information.  I was about to watch another hour of American Idol last night (making it my third hour this week), but since it was a "results episode" and simply revealed the winners of the previous night's contest, I decided I could much more easily and efficiently get this information the following day in summarized form.  It was the same (and is always the same) for Jobama's speech last week, and for any "important" political stuff like state of the union addresses and debates.  There's so much fluff; I just want the results in an easily digestible format, preferably a bulleted list.  It's not like watching a sporting event where there might be several important events in the game, many of which wouldn't be covered in a game summary.  Plus, game summaries miss the emotion, the anticipation, and the fact that you just don't know what will happen in the end.  With American Idol and planned political speeches, somebody knows the end result.  They just have to go through the laborious process of using big words, pregnant pauses, and hand motions to keep the audience interested enough to stick around until the end.  Screw that.  I prefer my information in summarized form. #psychology
Developing a taste Mar 3, 2009
I learned a new card game this weekend called Wizard.  Let me clearly state that I hate card games.  There are too many rules, the rules aren't organized in any type of digestible way, and said rules are always explained by at least two people speaking simultaneously.  Then there's the fact that new people always lose.  Card games are never full of novices all learning together.  There's always at least one or two masters who explain the game to the beginners.  Since I'm a beginner, I lose.  I don't like losing.  But the only way I'll ever get better is to keep playing.  So in other words, I should keep losing at a game I don't enjoy so that I'll learn to like it.  Fascinating. 

It's kind of like developing a taste for certain types of food or alcohol.  I mentioned a few months ago that I don't like Sam Adams beer, but that I'd like to like it, but that it's hard to develop a taste for something you just don't like.  To do that, you'd need to consistently force yourself to do something you don't enjoy, which sounds like a form of insanity or at the very least masochism. 

Developing a taste for something needs to happen instantaneously and effortlessly.  When I was around 10 years old, I played basketball for the first time, and I immediately developed a taste for it even though I was horrible.  I eventually got better and had the pleasure of sitting on the bench my freshman year of high school.  Similarly, when I was 21, I remember trying Yuengling and hating it, then trying it about four years later and really enjoying it.  Something changed, and it didn't require any effort on my part. 

That being said, I had a fun time playing this new card game.  By the end of the game, I was at least getting positive points, though I still lost overall.  As much as I hate losing, it was at least good to gain a little ground.  Maybe I'll develop a taste for Wizard, so long as I can remember all the ridiculously complex rules. #psychology