Common -ectomies May 22, 2013
I think it would be helpful if a hospital offered some common -ectomies -- appendectomy, tonsillectomy, wisdom tooth extraction -- as a package deal.  I have this fear that one of these useless body parts will one day become problematic for me, and it'll happen when I'm hiking in the middle of nowhere or visiting some exotic island whose healthcare consists of rum.  I'd rather just get all that stuff removed before it becomes a problem. #health
Old age pains (2) May 2, 2012
I turned 30 recently, which means I'm no longer young.  The opposite of young is old; hence I am now old. 

I was sitting at my desk on Monday morning, and kept noticing various parts of my body which were in pain.  This isn't too uncommon; I occasionally work out and sometimes even do hard physical labor.  But it had been a while since either of those two occasions happened, so I was sitting there trying to figure out exactly what I had done to cause this specific pain.  The front of my neck hurt, almost like whiplash.  I was racking my brain trying to figure out what activity could've caused whiplash.  Did I fall on my back at some point on Sunday?  Did I not use my legs when I lifted something, instead somehow miraculously using my neck muscles?  Did someone push me down the stairs? 

It finally came to me:  I slept in, and at one point, I must've been laying face-down on my pillow.  That's right.  I injured myself sleeping.  Welcome to old age. #health
Medicine as art (2) Aug 25, 2011
Wendy went to the doctor for a tick bite, and the doctor gave her some pills.  I went to a different doctor for the same exact thing two days later, and I was told to get a blood test.  When I asked my doctor why there were two different diagnoses for the same ailment, he said, "Practicing medicine is an art."  Now I ain't no medical doctor, but I can't think of something that should be approached more scientifically than the human body and the treatment of its various diseases.  I kind of get the fact that different doctors might disagree on treatment options, but as I said many moons ago, I look forward to the day when doctors are replaced by the following code:  
if (patient.sickness = "tick bite") {
   prescribe_pills();
}
Update:  Health insurer WellPoint will be using IBM's Watson to suggest treatment options.  Boom. #health
Post diet Jun 7, 2011
One of the things I should've expected but didn't after being on a diet and subsequently coming off of it was that holy crap I can eat anything I want! 

This is good because life is so much less complicated when you have no dietary restrictions.  Hungry at 2pm?  Stop at the coffee place and get a smoothie.  At a barbecue where they don't believe in serving vegetables?  No problem, just be a carnivore/carbivore. 

This is bad, however, because in the past month or so since I've been off my diet, I've eaten every single type of junk food I've ever craved in my entire life.  I'll walk past something at the store and think, "A few months ago I wasn't allowed to eat that; hence I should eat it now."  That's not good logic, but damn I like oatmeal cream pies. #health
Donated human tissue May 31, 2011
I was at the airport recently waiting for my luggage at the baggage claim, when I saw a cardboard box on the carousel with a sticker that said, "Donated human tissue not suitable for transplant".  This was puzzling.  Why would someone donate human tissue, presumably an organ or an eyeball, for a reason other than transplanting?  What else would it be for?  Food?  Party trick?  And what would make such human tissue "not suitable" for transplant?  Contagious disease?  Wrong size?  This isn't the kind of problem you want to be solving after spending all day in airports and on planes. 

Turns out some commenters on a website say donated human tissue can be used for research, college demonstrations, and long term storage (i.e. saving umbilical cord cells for future use).  Weird.  And gross.  Puts that "items in overhead bins may shift during takeoff and landing" thing in a whole new light. #health
Blood-injury phobia May 9, 2011
Something like 15% of humans experience blood-injury phobia, a.k.a. passing out at the sight of blood.  I'm tempted to think of these people as weak or "maladjusted", but in reality they have a psychological condition that's as much their fault as something like cancer or depression.  The interesting thing is that this phobia can be coached out of a person through something called applied tension, which consists of clenching your muscles whenever you're about to faint, which raises your blood pressure. #health
South Beach Diet experience Apr 28, 2011
I've had slightly high cholesterol for a while now, and after a few different failed attempts at regulating it with natural supplements and exercise, I decided to give the South Beach Diet a try.  My normal diet consists of lots and lots of carbohydrates, both in the "pure sugar" variety and in the "chocolate-covered" variety.  Thankfully I was blessed with genetics that enable me to eat whatever I want and never gain any weight.  But unfortunately I was cursed with the silent killer of high cholesterol.  There's some evidence that a diet high in vegetables and fiber and low in carbohydrates might have a beneficial effect on cholesterol.  As sort of a last ditch effort before I started taking prescription drugs, I decided to try it out for six months. 

The first few days were unpleasant.  Heck, the first half of the first day was unpleasant.  I stopped eating sugar and all other carbs before slowly reintroducing limited whole grains after a few weeks.  My body had to go through a period of withdrawal, where I felt tired and annoyed, and no amount of food made me feel satisfied.  It's a truly unique feeling to have a stomach full of food but to not feel full.  This mostly went away over time, and I found a few foods (like peanut butter) that took away hunger like magic.  I was surprised that I lost about 8-10 lbs in the first couple weeks, which was an added benefit I suppose.  I really didn't have a problem eating meat and vegetables all the time.  I'm a fan of things like Brussels sprouts, so it wasn't difficult increasing my intake of vegetables.  But after a solid month of daily salads for lunch, I got sick of them, though largely because of the dressing.  It's hard to find salad dressings with no or low carbs. 

Each week I was supposed to introduce a new whole grain carb, such as whole grain rice, whole grain bread, etc.  But by about the third week, I couldn't really find any more room in my diet for more food without cutting out the good stuff like meat and vegetables.  The diet's literature says to keep adding a carb until you get up to seven per day, which I still think is ridiculous.  You'd have to eat a boatload of food to reach that amount. 

It was interesting how my brain changed while on the diet.  I began thinking of my diet in terms of right and wrong, so that the foods I could eat were considered right, and the foods I couldn't eat were considered wrong.  That made it so that I didn't get too many cravings for things I couldn't eat.  And when I did give in on occasion, I felt bad about it.  I couldn't even have a guilty pleasure.  It was only guilt. 

My birthday occurred while I was on the diet, and my method of celebrating consisted of Dunkin Donuts coffee and a muffin, pizza and root beer for lunch, and ice cream cake for dessert.  That was a good day, and aside from that initial rush of sugar directly to my brain, my body experienced no ill effects. 

At about the three month mark, I happened to get a blood test for life insurance.  I fasted for twelve hours before the test just so my cholesterol readings would be accurate.  The results came back a few days later and showed that my cholesterol hadn't changed a single point.  I really wasn't expecting that outcome, so I took a few days before I decided to give up on my diet early.  The thing is, I was kind of looking forward to the diet not working because that would mean I could go back to my normal way of life and just take a magical pill to prevent a future heart attack.  Someone suggested that it was kind of cheap or weak to have to depend on a drug to fix me; I think of it as a miracle cure for something that would've killed me by middle age if I was living 50 years ago. 

I also feel bad about giving up on something early.  I'm not a quitter, but I just can't see a point in continuing this lifestyle change when there is absolutely zero benefit.  It was suggested that I continue the diet anyway because it seems like a good idea to eat healthy, but I argue there's literally no benefit to a change in diet for me, and that was proven pretty conclusively by a blood test.  I think it helps that my normal diet is actually fairly healthy, with only the occasional fast food and somewhat limited snacking (i.e. I don't eat a whole package of anything in one sitting).  Even without the diet, I typically eat healthy meals and exercise regularly, which is most likely a good thing.  So it looks like I'll continue doing that, with the addition of a daily pill.  It was worth a shot. #health
ADHD and diet Mar 23, 2011
A recent scientific study has shown that 64% of children diagnosed with ADHD are actually experiencing a reaction to certain foods they eat.  They can undergo a fairly simple though rigorous test to determine (a) if they've been misdiagnosed with ADHD, and (b) if so, what specific foods cause their hypersensitivity. #health
Fat vs. fats Oct 14, 2010
There's some confusion regarding good fats and bad fats, like "What's the difference?" and "Why the hell are we just learning about this now?".  I would say the confusion lies primarily in the wording.  We all know, from celebrities and teenagers and other perfect role models, that "fat" is a bad word.  And since "fat" is something that's also found in food, we've learned to assume that food containing "fat" is bad.  But "fat" the description and "fat" the food compound are completely different things, almost to the point of being unrelated.  WebMD puts it nicely:  "You can get fat eating carbs and protein, even if you eat little dietary fat."  In other words, body fat is caused by eating excess calories, and calories come from fat, carbs, protein, and other food chemicals.  I vote we start using the scientific word for dietary fat:  Lipids. #health
Chubby doctor (2) Oct 14, 2010
My doctor is a little chubby, and at a recent visit he was giving me advice about diet and exercise.  That's kind of like a dentist with bad teeth, or a chiropractor with a bad back.  I might've listened more if he started with a disclaimer, something like, "The following advice is medically sound, though admittedly hasn't been followed by yours truly." #health