I wonder at what point in the life of a parent the reference to self changes from "I" to "Mommy".  I for one can't remember a single instance of either one of my parents referring to themselves in the third person.  I think that's good.  Referring to yourself like you're the external narrator of your own life story is weird.  And what must kids think? 

Mom:  "Mommy doesn't like cheeseburgers." 
Kid:  Which Mommy is she talking about?  Her name is Mommy, but there are a lot of Mommies out there.

I don't know if it's because I grew up an hour away from New York City, or if everyone does this:  I compare every city I travel to with New York City, and no city quite compares.  No city seems as big, or has as many tall buildings, or has as many flashing lights, or is as active around the clock, or has an many cool things as New York.  I wonder if people from Philadelphia or Boston or Los Angeles compare other cities to their own, only to find that their city doesn't quite measure up.  I feel like New York is at the top, and everyone else is competing for second place.  Again, this could be because of my geographical proximity.  But I'm not even a city person.  I would feel this way whether I lived an hour away or a world away. 

Sometimes I think movie critics just say what they think people want to hear.  "Incredible cinematography!"  Really?  Is that what caught your eye, or was it the little robot who talked funny?  "Creative and original, deeply moving."  Was it?  Or is that what you think the guy from the Times is gonna say?  I wish movie critics spoke like normal people and said what they really thought.  "I liked the part where the robots fought each other and blew up the entire city."  Now that's something I can believe.  "Made me laugh until I shot Sprite out my nose!"  That's a movie I'd like to see.  "That movie sucked."  Simple, and to the point. 

I watched a movie the other night (actually a 2-part movie, for a total of four hours), and I kept waiting for that moment where I could finally say, "Wow, that was totally worth it."  That moment never came, and those four hours are lost forever.  The weird thing is that the movie received great reviews and is highly regarded for its originality and creativity.  I guess it was creative, but that's not what I like about movies.  What an absolute waste of time, Kill Bill. 

I've been getting some books from the library recently, and I've even watched a few movies.  The thing that doesn't make sense to me is, how is this not considered stealing?  Yes, I realize the library buys the books and movies they have in their possession, and yes I realize my tax dollars fund the purchase of said items.  But if I buy a book from Amazon, I pay $10-$20, and I know that at least some of that money goes directly to the writer.  By borrowing it from the library, I'm using a copy that was only paid for once, which means the writer is losing out on the money I would've paid if I bought it myself.  By reading it and not paying, I'm essentially stealing.  Do libraries have some sort of licensing agreement with writers and publishers? 

It has just come to my attention that circular fields used for farming are circular because of irrigation systems that rotate around a fixed point (the center of the field).  I thought it had something to do with harvesting being easier when done in one smooth motion, more like a spiral. 

One time when I was in college, I tried to use my debit card to buy something and was told by the cashier that my card was being denied by the payment system for some reason.  I figured out shortly thereafter that I was broke, and the debit card machine correctly denied me from making a purchase.  In plain English, my bank said, "You're trying to get money from where there's no money.  You can't do that." 

Fast forward several years.  I have a job, tons of money (compared to when I was in college), and am sharing a bank account with my wife.  One day I make the simple mistake of transferring some money to savings, and the next day we get hit with five separate overdraft protection fees.  There would've been more, but apparently we (or automatic bill pay) only tried to access our money five times in that 24-hour span.  In plain English, my bank said, "You're trying to get money from where there's no money.  We'll charge you for that, so now you'll have less than no money." 

Overdraft "protection" is broken.  What exactly am I being protected from?  Accessing my lack of money?  The correct course of action when there are insufficient funds should be denial.  But since we live in America, people spend money they don't have, and banks offering free checking need to have some form of income.  I personally wouldn't mind if overdraft protection was abolished.  But since I know it won't be, I've changed my life around to never use a debit card to buy anything.  Credit cards to the rescue.  At least they have credit limits. 

A polymath is "a person with encyclopedic, broad, or varied knowledge or skills."  It's ironic that I didn't know that. 

Best new website of the week:  Totally Looks Like, where people upload pictures of famous people or things that totally look like someone or something else.  There's the infamous Wilford Brimley and the lookalike cat, but other notables include John Kerry / Herman Munster, Bill Gates / Janet Reno, Pope Benedict / Darth Sidious, and Ron Paul / Magneto.  Ok, heck, they're all good.  Just look at all of them. 

A good indication of the state of decay of our nation is something like this: 

Dogs with sweaters:  -1 star.  Dogs in carriers:  -3 stars.  Dogs with four little purple shoes:  -17 stars.