I've been having an issue recently with people not acknowledging what I say before they respond, often with either a solution, a criticism, or a one-up. I was telling some co-workers about a problem I've been having at work, and their responses were "Ha ha, you'll figure it out" and "That's how those things go." While these statements may be true and perhaps even the "correct" response, I felt like the one thing that was missing was an acknowledgement that what I've been doing is difficult work and that the lack of success sucks. I guess what I'm looking for is empathy, not a pep talk.
A similar thing happened a while ago when I was trying to express my outrage about the government furlough. I realize complaining isn't the pinnacle of human conversation. But at the same time, I feel that a well-formed rational argument is at least worth an acknowledgement. Instead, I got a lot of "It's not as bad as [x]" and "Obama is a cactus."
The funny thing is, I'm not a "feely" person. I've been told I don't express my feelings, and I don't express them well, and I don't express them enough. So here I am, expressing my feelings, and all I get is non-validation. I was under the impression that a fundamental component of human communication is acknowledging what other people say, as are listening to what other people say and responding appropriately. Acknowledgement is validation, and without it, conversation is mostly one-sided. #sociology |