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Semi-parenthood Mon, Jul 08, 2013
I had the privilege of living in a house with a six-year-old for the past week while he went to a nearby summer camp.  What a magical experience:  Structuring my life around the whines and whims of a selfish, annoying, small person with terrible communication skills.  It was like living with another me. 

What I noticed, however, was that parents (and I in effect) tend to savor the brief moments in their day when their kids are absent.  Those first few minutes of a quiet morning before the kid turns on the TV; that brief period of time after the kid complains about the meal you cooked and finally goes back to watching TV; those calm few moments after the kid goes to bed and you can finally relax and do whatever you want.  It seems like the best part about having kids is not having kids. 

And as much as I disagree with the use of glowing rectangles (i.e. TV, computers, tablets, phones) in raising children, I finally see the light.  Either you can listen to your kid whine about every god-forsaken thing that crosses his tiny little brain, accept his constant criticism of your actions, your lifestyle, your cooking, and your lack of doing everything he wants, or you can put a phone in front of his face and let him shoot zombies.  It's really a simple choice. 

In conclusion, children are awful.


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