Broken escalator
"An escalator can never break; it can only become stairs.  You would never see an 'Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order' sign, just 'Escalator Temporarily Stairs.  Sorry for the convenience.'" ~ Mitch Hedberg #lifestyle

SharkBite (2)
One thing I didn't realize I signed up for when I bought a house was that at least once a year I'd have to replace some sort of leaky plumbing fixture under a sink or toilet, simply because metal tends to disintegrate over time when in the presence of water.  Any old person would say, "How didn't you know that?"  To which I would respond, "Shut up, old person."  So this past weekend as I was visiting my local hardware store to replace some leaky valves, one of the sales guys recommended SharkBite fittings.  I was skeptical at first because they cost a little more and I never trust sales people.  But I got home, unsoldered the old valves and smoothed the pipes, then simply slid the SharkBite valves into place.  No soldering, no sealing, no nothing.  This was without question the easiest, most successful plumbing experience I've had in my brief though troubled career as a homeowner. #products