Sudden spring May 12, 2011
It's weird how, at least in New Jersey, spring happens so suddenly.  It's not really a gradual thing at all.  We had about two or three days of slightly warm weather, and boom, all the trees grew leaves and my car is covered in pollen.  The season of "spring" is really just a few days of transition between cold and gray, and warm and green. #nature
Obama door kick May 10, 2011
I wish Obama actually kicked a door open after a speech.  That would be newsworthy. #politics
Unrhymable May 10, 2011
Dictionary.com says there are 19 English words that have no perfect rhyme, including film, orange, and silver.  Wikipedia goes into more detail, saying a lot of those unrhymable words actually have an obscure rhyming match, including pilm, Blorenge, and chilver. #language
Tricky plurals May 9, 2011
Why is the word "pants" plural?  Some people say it's because pants contain two pant legs, hence a "pair of pants."  But my shirt contains two arms; does that make it a pair of shirts?  No. 

This is an example of a tricky plural.  Other examples include a pair of scissors, a set of eyeglasses, and underwear. 

Also related:  A "TV set" is so called because apparently the components used to come in a set, and the user had to put everything together. #language
Blood-injury phobia May 9, 2011
Something like 15% of humans experience blood-injury phobia, a.k.a. passing out at the sight of blood.  I'm tempted to think of these people as weak or "maladjusted", but in reality they have a psychological condition that's as much their fault as something like cancer or depression.  The interesting thing is that this phobia can be coached out of a person through something called applied tension, which consists of clenching your muscles whenever you're about to faint, which raises your blood pressure. #health
Onion joke depth May 6, 2011
I love how The Onion pays such close attention to detail in their jokes.  Like this recent video, which was talking about Obama befriending an elderly woman, where the stock ticker at the bottom of the screen displayed the following commodities: 
Frozen pig heads
Unleaded hogs
Live cattle
Feeder cattle
Horse sh**
Aluminum
Sculptures
Platinum
Spandex
Felt squares
Decent coffee
Bananas I don't want anymore
The primary joke was the Obama story.  The secondary joke was the news ticker with funny headlines.  The tertiary joke was the commodities.  That's dedication. #entertainment
Small kitchen (2) May 4, 2011
I've been looking at real estate lately, and one thing that baffles me is why houses are designed a certain way.  I understand why you might want a small spare bedroom that you could use as an office, or a combination living room and dining room because you don't see the need for the two to be separate.  But I feel like there are a few things everyone can unilaterally agree on:  A bathroom with a shower, some good closet space, and a decent-size kitchen.  Our current house has a tiny kitchen, and like seeing a fly on the wall, once you notice it, you can't ignore it.  Every problem in life and every conversation is about that stupid fly.  My point is, what kind of person wants a tiny kitchen in their house?  People who never cook?  Even they would probably admit that it's nice to have at least, say, five feet of open counter space.  Maybe enough room to fit two people who happen to cohabitate and whose feeding times often coincide.  And it's not just our house.  Lots of people have tiny kitchens, and it makes no sense.  No one wants a small kitchen.  That's certainly never a selling feature.  What's wrong with these people who design our houses? #lifestyle
Corner lot (5) May 3, 2011
In real estate listings, a corner lot is deemed desirable enough to include it in the description of the property.  This doesn't make sense to me.  A corner lot has not one, but two streets passing by it, which means double the amount of traffic, plus the added benefit of people stopping and starting all the time at the stop sign.  This is one of the most unappealing things I can think of, besides "easy access to charming landfill." #lifestyle
Slimy soft water May 2, 2011
We just got a water softener installed in our house, and the plumber said that slimy feeling is due to your body retaining more of its natural oils, which is believed to be a good thing.  It turns out it's kind of complicated but basically soft water makes it more difficult to completely wash the soap off your body, hence the slimy feeling.  The reason this is true regardless of whether you use soap or not is because of the process of saponification, which is how soap is made by combining a high-pH substance with fat.  To make soap, you'd use lye and animal fat.  To make slimy water, you'd use soft water and human skin oil.  In other words, you're creating soap each time you wash your hands with soft water. #science
Chicken on eggs May 2, 2011
For breakfast this morning, I cut up some chicken and put it on my eggs, which made me feel like the world might end or something.  I guess it's similar to a cheeseburger, except that cheese requires some processing whereas eggs come directly from chickens.  So far, no world ending. #food