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Wedding registry
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Jul 2, 2010
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One of the best parts about getting married is socially obligating people to buy you expensive, unnecessary gifts. A subset of this experience is actually going to a store of your choosing, obtaining a price-scanning gun, and shooting every blessed thing in sight. These two facts are universally agreed-upon, hence no wedding in recent memory deviating from this stupid practice. But can we take a step back and agree on one simple thing? Nobody needs a spice rack. I doubt any reasonable human being has actually ever used a blender. And honestly, if you've made it this far in life without a toaster, chances are you can continue living without one. Towels and plates and video games are fine, because these are things that will actually be used on a regular basis. But a picnic basket? A salad spinner? For Pete's sake, why must we even spin our salads in the first place? #lifestyle
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Best sick day
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Jul 2, 2010
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Sometimes I don't sleep well, so I've done a couple of doctor-prescribed sleep studies. The first one was an overnight monitoring of my body's physical and mental activity during sleep, which included lots of wires glued to my head and a sensor stuck in my nose. I got a bad night's sleep the night before the study, so I actually ended up sleeping like a baby despite all the wires and sensors. This gave the doctors no data whatsoever, so they prescribed a second phase of testing. I just did this second phase the other day, which consisted of monitoring my brain activity during daytime napping. So essentially I sat around a room all day, reading books and watching movies, and every two hours I had to try to take a nap. No results yet, but that was easily the best sick day ever. #health
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