I'm an Aries, and this is The Onion's horoscope for me this week: 

"Enlightenment and confusion will both be yours this week, when a tree falls in the woods only to make the sound of one hand clapping."

A philosophical riddle and a Buddhist koan rolled together.  A famous cynic once said, "The sound of one hand clapping is the sound of a slap in the face." #sociology