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Misread Wed, Apr 21, 2010
I have one of those Life is good shirts.  It says "Life is good" on the front, a slogan with which I usually agree.  And I know this sounds stupid, but every time -- and I mean every single time -- I look at myself in a mirror while wearing this shirt, I think it says, "Life is boog," which of course is what happens to words in mirrors.  Why only part of the phrase is indecipherable, I have no idea.  But I have to reread it a few times and remind myself that "boog" is actually "good" and that yes, my shirt still says "Life is good." 

A similar thing happened while driving a few hours ago.  There was a sign for a dentist, and it said in big block letters, "DENTAL ARTS."  But I have slightly bad eyesight, so I misread it as "DENTAL RATS," even though I knew it couldn't possibly say RATS.  For whatever reason, my impaired vision was sending a stronger signal than the one in my brain that's able to fill in gaps of knowledge.  I'm just glad there's no such thing as dental rats, because I hate the dentist enough as it is. #language

Divorce limit Wed, Apr 21, 2010
CNN talk show host Larry King announced last week that he's filing for his eighth divorce.  I think that should be it for him.  He should throw in the towel on the whole marriage thing.  And I think we as a society should prevent people from getting marriage more than, say, three times.  After that third divorce, if you show up to the town hall and try to get another marriage application, you should simply be rejected on the spot.  Not for any moral reasons, or because you're a bad person.  It's just that, hey, let's face it; you tried, and you failed.  Obviously more trying won't help anyone.  And unless your spouses all died tragically in separate unrelated fiery bus crashes (which would be at least slightly suspicious in the first place if not for the fact that you're a suspect, then at least for the fact that you have incredibly bad luck), maybe you're just not cut out for this "holy matrimony" thing. #lifestyle