Of the very few funerals I've attended, I've always felt improperly dressed.  As everyone knows, the dead would like us to wear nice black clothes, of which I own none.  I always show up in something like khakis and a green shirt, and I never fit in.  My clothes are too happy.  I own no sad clothes.  The closest I have is gray, and you'd be surprised how happy and exciting gray clothes look when compared to black.  I have every intention of eventually buying proper funeral clothes, but every time I'm at a store and see something that the dead would enjoy, I can't think of anyone I know who has recently died or might soon bite the big one, and so I put it off.  That's the problem with death.  So unreliable. #lifestyle