|About six months ago, Wendy was walking out the front door of our house on her way to work, and in accordance with the law of nature that states that buttered toast always lands butter-side down, her breakfast of peanut butter on an English muffin landed peanut-butter-side down. She was in a rush, so she picked up the muffin but didn't clean up the peanut butter, leaving me one hour later trying to decipher a mysterious peanut butter stain on our front step as my first task of the day. Funny stuff.
The thing that's noteworthy about this event is that two days ago when it was raining, there was a magical dry spot on our front step. This dry spot, of course, was caused by the peanut butter that had been dropped there six months ago. Yes, I cleaned up the peanut butter on my way out of the house that morning, but I suppose I wasn't able to get all the microscopic parts that seeped into the cement.
Which brings me to my point: Why aren't houses insulated with peanut butter? Why do my sinks, toilets, and windows leak? Why is there no such thing as legitimately waterproof clothing? Peanut butter can solve all our problems. #science