My friend's girlfriend has a dog who "has feelings for" a particular blanket.  As such, it's called the humper blanket.  My friend had two things to say about this practice, neither of which were any consolation: 
  1. He doesn't hump it much.
  2. It's the only thing he humps.
It's like saying, "We only dropped two atomic bombs on Japan," or "I only puked on your feet." #language