The few times I've puked in the last several years have taught me that I'm a pretty good puker.  Whether it's from alcohol or that horrible malady that cursed me after Christmas '08, I tend to go through a series of thoughts before I puke. 

1. I think I'm gonna puke.
2. Crap.  I hate puking.
3. I'll wait it out.
4. Nope, I'm definitely gonna puke.
5. Like RIGHT NOW.
6. I'm not 7 anymore, so let me find a receptacle or a toilet.
7. Release the beast.
8. Take the rest of the week off because puking exhausts me.

In the end, I do the deed, and I clean up after myself.  Nobody holds my hair (also, I don't have hair) or has to clean up after me.  There are really only a handful of things in life that a person can truly be good at.  For me, puking is one of them. 

Not so for two of my friends.  One friend puked directly on me and the other friend hit the deck (literally, with puke) and employed the use of a bucket holder.  That's what happens when your life follows that of Jerry Seinfeld, whose TV character held a 14-year non-vomit streak.  I guess practice makes perfect. #health