My Toyota Camry came with a keyless entry keychain, and in the almost-five years I've owned it, I've pressed any of the three (and sometimes four -- whoops that's the alarm) buttons no less than 3000 times.  I would estimate it's more likely double that number.  And by the beard of Zeus, I haven't yet needed to replace the minuscule battery that makes this process possible, nor has the keychain had any issue working, despite the complicated nature of the technology involved (electromagnetic waves flying through the air from my hand to my car's brain, telling it to unlock the door; it's crazy) and the minimal amount of power supplied by the little pancake battery.  This is a credit to the engineers and designers at Toyota for making a product that does what it's supposed to, given its excessive, though expected, usage. 

Meanwhile, the battery in my relatively new laptop at work doesn't last more than 45 minutes, even though it says it'll last for two hours.  The "new" lids on those Coffee Mate coffee creamers always leak, and the flip-up ones on the International Delight bottles always manage to spray liquid directly in my face.  My electric shaver doesn't work while it's charging,, which, odd as it may seem, is exactly when I need it the most.  Many products come in clamshell plastic packaging, which has been proven to be literally impossible to open without self injury. 

My point is this:  When people design products, do they test them out first?  Do they fill the coffee creamer container with coffee creamer, put it in the refrigerator, take it out, and experience the frustration of spritzing sticky liquid everywhere?  I'm an engineer.  I've designed things.  And perhaps my designs haven't been the best, nor have they been used by the general population, but you can bet your ass I'd test out my product before I gave it to a bazillion people. #products

I went snowboarding on Monday, and here's a list of the thoughts that came to mind while riding the peaceful lift up the quiet mountain: 

• Never, under any circumstances, wear pants that have zippers, buttons, or other hard objects near the ankles.  These will inevitably get squashed against your legs by your tight boots, and they will find a way to a bone or a nerve.
• Teenagers shouldn't be allowed to mix with the rest of the people who visit a snow-covered mountain to enjoy the effects of gravity and low friction.  What with their snowball-throwing and their sitting in the middle of the hill without moving, they should all just be herded to a separate location where they're allowed to go all Lord-of-the-Flies on each other.  Thankfully, Mountain Creek in Vernon, NJ has a terrain park, which is where all the smelly, scummy teenagers hang out.  Once I figured that out, my happiness increased tenfold.
• Granite Peak at Mountain Creek (that rhymes) is my favorite park of the park.  There's never anyone there, there are no lines for the lift, and the steep, wide slopes allow you to achieve maximum speed without knocking over any 6-year-olds.
• I enjoy going fast.  I enjoy going fast much more than I enjoy being airborne, hence my desire for steep, wide slopes and my dislike for the terrain park.

Just to be clear, I don't hate all kids.  I always like seeing those little tiny humans passing me as they fly down the hill.  But when humans are that tiny, they're with their parents, which magically makes children less scummy and annoying.  As soon as they turn 13, they leave their parents, become jerks, and hang out at the terrain park.  It makes me feel like I never left high school. #sports