Every time I watch the first few episodes of American Idol, one simple question comes to mind:  Who tells these people they're good?  It must be someone.  Some supporting family member or friend saying, "I think you should totally try out for American Idol.  You're that good."  My advice to these American Idol contestants is this:  Stop talking to those people.  Stop associating with them.  They're lying to you.  You're a really bad singer.  It's not the song choice.  It's not because you're nervous.  You're just really bad. 

I don't mean to sound like a know-it-all jerk, but I can tell after one, at most two, notes if a person is a good singer or not.  I'm not a good singer myself, but like a miniature version of Simon Cowell (he looks large on TV), I know talent when I hear it.  Or see it.  Most times, I can decide if someone's a good singer (in American Idol terms anyway) just by how they look and how they carry themselves.  I'm occasionally wrong, but generally speaking, visual appearance says a lot.  Weird and/or eccentric people aren't good singers.  They're too busy being weird and/or eccentric.  (Notable exceptions include American Idol winner Taylor Hicks and Paul Potts, that British guy who won the British version of American Idol by singing opera.)  It has nothing to do with race or weight or anything like that.  But aside from the first visual impression, I can immediately tell if a person is a good or bad singer based on their first or second note.  It has something to do with tone, song choice, rhythm, vocal fullness, and something I would call "soul" but can't readily define.  I would totally be a judge, but only if I could sit behind a wall or a two-way mirror so the contestants couldn't see me when I told them they're terrible singers.  I feel bad crushing people's dreams.  But somebody has to do it. #entertainment