Based on a recent stay at Foxwoods in Connecticut, I've developed an official stance on gambling:  I don't like it.  Sorry Mike and Becca, it was a fun thing to do and a nice place to stay, but I'm not into gambling at all.  It could definitely have something to do with not winning.  Since I've never won any money, "gambling" is another word for "slowly losing my money".  I could think of no less than 5,000,000 other ways to lose my money, most of which would be more thrilling than sticking dollar bills into a machine.  Yes, I realize I would probably have a better chance of winning at a table, but I have a generalized fear of human interaction, especially when (a) I'm forced to learn a new game (b) involving cards and (c) my money. 

There are two other main reasons why I don't like gambling, and both involve people (surprise!):  First, gambling seems to fit in quite nicely with drinking, smoking, and motorcycles.  Oh, and obesity.  But that one's not all that important.  I'm not a big drinker.  I'm not a big smoker.  I'd like to ride a motorcycle but I have an acute fear of death via dismemberment and/or decapitation.  All in all, I just don't fit in with the gambling crowd.  Second, the waitresses skirts are too short.  I thought this was a Las Vegas thing.  Nope.  For a place that advertises its child-friendliness and family-vacation atmosphere, I saw incredibly too much nylon-covered upper thigh.  On a side note, perhaps there should be an age limit.  I'm just saying. 

On the plus side, I enjoy free things, so I gladly accepted free drinks while I slowly gambled away my quarters.  And casinos generally have a lot of food, sights, sounds, and activities, so it's possible to have a good time without even gambling a penny.  Hello, Bellagio. 

On a gambling-related side note, Wendy's mom tithes her gambling winnings (gives ten percent to her church).  I find this hilarious, yet oddly appropriate.  Sure, her money was gained through a less-than-holy cause, but it's cool that she knows her Bible well enough to remember the parts about tithing. #psychology