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DaveAir (3)

Apr 4, 2007

I'm planning on starting my own airline in a few years. Here's how a typical flight will work:

- No assigned seats. The best seats will go to the people who got there earliest and/or fastest. Sorry grandma and fat people, but I'm sure you could get a ride on one of those crazy beeping carts that doesn't stop for bi-peds like me.
- No first class. What better way to differentiate between classes of people than by publicly displaying how much money they pay for things.
- No food or drinks will be served. What is this, a restaurant?
- No peanuts or pretzels will be handed out. What are we, monkeys?
- No flight attendants. Figure things out for yourself. Buncha idiots.
- No seat belt instructions. Honestly, if you can't buckle that stupid seat belt, you have bigger problems to take care of than surviving the experience of falling from the sky at 300 mph from 30,000 feet in a tin can strapped to a removable cushion.
- No pilot talk. Nobody cares how fast or high we're flying. And nobody likes to hear the deafening voice of a stupid pilot who doesn't understand how a microphone works.
- No cell phone use while on the plane. The person picking you up can wait 3 minutes for you get off the plane before you call to tell them, "Hey, we just landed. We're on the runway. We're taxiing to the terminal."

Thank you, and enjoy your flight. #travel

Comments

#1	Shara	Apr 5, 2007
	I'm going to have to disagree with you in some areas. Mostly, your ideas would be okay for shorter flights, however, I want drinks, flight attendants and pilot talk on longer flights. I need to drink a crazy amount of water when I'm on a plane for longer periods of time. If I were on the plane for more than 6 hours, I would have to bring too much water with me that it would be a pain in the ass so I want to have the option of getting it on the plane. And I want a flight attendant to serve it to me. And I like the pilot talk, generally. Most of the times I've been on a plane, I've had a pretty humorous pilot. :)

#2	Dave	Apr 5, 2007
	Alright then. Shot down. Maybe instead of making the whole plane like this, it could be divided into two parts: One part would have all the normal stuff like endless drinks, miniature food items, detailed flight information, and rampant cell phone use; the other part would be for all the losers who just want to be left alone. Just give me a pad to sit on and a pen to do the crossword. I can keep myself occupied for hours.

#3	Shara	Apr 10, 2007
	Deal. :)