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Disney Vault (1) Monday, Jan 29, 2007 10:01 am

Every few months, I see a commercial that threatens to send any of my favorite Disney movies into the "Disney Vault" forever.  That's right, forever.  There's no possible way anyone can ever see these movies again.  All known copies will vanish into thin air.  No stores will sell them.  There will be no way to rent them.  Our current knowledge of these movies will be forever lost, banished eternally to the vault, which likely contains some sort of brimstone, fire-related materials, demons, gnashing of teeth, and the other Disney movies that were previously vaulted. 

How can I be expected to live without Cinderella?  What about Snow White VII?  Disney movies have changed my life forever.  No longer do I trudge through life, wondering when an ugly, poor, animal-like being such as myself will ever meet a young, attractive mate.  I know I'll meet her.  And I know I'll marry her and live a perfect life with her.  Oh, and my cats will go to heaven.  And some mice will sing. 

Disney, I don't care about your stupid movies and your stupid vault.  Stop using scare tactics to sell your stupid old movies. 

Wendy Wednesday, Jan 31, 2007 8:43 am

Sadly, this worked on me when I purchased a Disney classic in middle (actually it was probably high) school...i was duped.

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Hi, my name is Dave Hosier, and this website is where I write my unfounded opinions on trivial matters. Feel free to look around, but please refrain from reading anything.

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