Sometimes I have surprisingly macho ideas and desires.  I wouldn't call myself a "typical male", so these things don't seem to fit in with the rest of my life.  I don't have a subscription to Maxim magazine.  I don't like sports cars.  I don't pride myself on drinking dark beers. 

But I sometimes have a strong desire to get a motorcycle.  All my logic and conservatism says this is a bad idea, but I can't deny that the desire is there.  I wouldn't want to get a stupid little racing bike.  And I wouldn't want to get a loud Harley.  I would just want a simple motorcycle that would get me from point A to point B while making me feel like I'm a dog sticking my head out the window.  I think it's less about the object and more about the idea:  For years, motorcycles have been a symbol of rebellion and "badness" (can't think of a better word).  Despite wearing khaki pants and a collared shirt, I sometimes want to strap on some leather (ok, not really) and ride across the country with nothing but a knife and a change of underwear. 

I also have the occasional urge to get a tattoo.  I'm not sure why.  I've been opposed to them in the past, but I can't deny that a permanent marking on my pale flesh has a certain amount of appeal.  Again, I think it's more about the idea:  Tattoos traditionally signify independence, strength, devotion, or some other sort of cool thing.  (These days, most tattoos are the result of drinking or a fleeting interest.)  But to permanently let people know that I'm a fan of dragons that breathe fire out of their mouths and have spikes on their tails, just sounds awesome. 

And like I mentioned before, I like watching people beat each other unconscious.  I think it's because I'd sort of like to learn Brazilian JuJitsu and know how to hyper-extend a person's elbow and knee.  I would imagine that it's quite liberating to have that kind of knowledge.  And I think it's sort of like what Tyler Durden said in Fight Club:  "How much can you know about yourself, you've never been in a fight?"  Few things have existed since the beginning of time, but violence is one of them.  And it's not that I'm a violent person or have a desire to hurt or kill other people.  It's just that I'd sometimes like to test myself as a human being through "feats of strength" like hand-to-hand combat.  But then other times, I just want to sit around and write about it on my website.  Geeks 'R' Us!