I've been having a series of unrelated and incomplete thoughts lately.  Here are a few about marriage: 

I mentioned recently that marriage is a one-time thing for me.  I think that if I treated it as anything other than a one-time thing, I'd be going about it all wrong.  I don't think a person can enter a "permanent" and/or "life-long" relationship with the idea in the back of their head that says, "Hey, if it doesn't work out, I'll just end it.  I'll just move on; maybe find a new person."  I don't think there should be an escape clause in marriage.  Either you're in or your out.  Otherwise, you shouldn't even be thinking about it.  A prenuptial agreement?  Ridiculous.  I know it's meant to protect both parties and prevent financial ruin, but how can two people make a break-up agreement before they enter into such an important relationship?  I'm sure some marriages have worked in spite of the pre-nup, but with that idea in the back of their minds, the two people always know they have a way out. 

I'm guessing that a lot of people who think about marriage think about it as a one-time thing.  They envision their relationship lasting forever and surviving all kinds of problems and surprises.  To think otherwise would be an admission of potential failure.  Nobody wants to do that.  I don't think anybody actually wants to get divorced.  It's not really a desirable thing to do.  So I don't really think I'm a revolutionary thinker in this matter.  [End of incomplete thought #1]

My other thought on marriage is that moving in together is a bigger commitment/change/struggle than getting married.  And I think it's because of the volatile nature of it all.  In a dating relationship, the other person can leave at will.  They hardly even need a reason.  In marriage, it's usually a little more involved.  You made a legal commitment in front of God, family, and friends.  Your bank account, credit score, credit cards, bills, possessions, and debts are joined together with another person.  If a partner "just left", the other partner would track them down and kill force persuade them to reconsider. So basically, there's quite a bit more permanence and reliability in marriage.  It's dependable and safe.  After you get married and move in together, there isn't much pressure.  You're already "yoked".  But with living together before marriage, it seems almost like a tryout.  Will you measure up?  Will you fart in your sleep?  Will you drive the other person away with your strange personal habits?  It's definitely a gamble.  And instead of falling back on the whole "Hey we're married; we need to work this out" thing, you can just up and leave.  [End of incomplete thought #2]

The problem with these thoughts is that I'm a 24-year-old "kid" who's been married for less than 2 years.  Who the heck am I to form opinions about such big things?  But despite my lack of experience and wisdom in this area, I feel pretty strongly about my opinions. #lifestyle