Whenever I travel, I see lots of crimes against humanity.  One of the most common is the misuse of wheeled bags.  Some people think that anything with wheels should be rolled.  I think they're wrong.  If it's small enough to be confused with a purse, it shouldn't be rolled.  The most common perpetrator in this case is businessmen.  They usually have a nice little leather bag that holds their newspaper, their passport, and a banana.  It's really too small to hold anything else.  And like little nancies, these "professional businessmen" wheel around their cutesy little bags because they're too stupid or too weak to pick them up.  They should be ashamed.  A disgrace to the male race. 

The other major crime also concerns bags, though not necessarily wheeled.  I've come up with a rule of thumb that should do away with this problem:  If your bag is too big for you to handle, you shouldn't be allowed to have it.  Simple as that.  If you pack so much stuff that you need one of those rent-a-carts, you really shouldn't be traveling by plane.  You should get your own stupid plane.  Or maybe you should have your stuff shipped.  Obviously you haven't quite grasped the art of traveling.  It's all about sacrifice.  You can't take a different pair of shoes for each day.  You can't bring your bowling ball and your typewriter.  You need to make a choice.  Either you travel light or you don't travel at all.  If I had my way, that's how it would be.  I'd stand outside the airport and turn people away if their bags were too big.  "Nope, you're gonna get in my way later."  "I don't think so, sister.  Take the bus." #travel