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Shovel
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May 12, 2006
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One of the biggest inconveniences of eating is transferring the food to the mouth. Should a fork be used? Maybe chopsticks? Or should you just use the hands?
Here's a better idea: Skip the middle man. Just shovel the food into your mouth, right out of the container. Why waste time and resources? Just pour it right into your face.
I do this on a regular basis. Sometimes I'm concerned about what other people are thinking when I do this. "Look at this freak. He eats like a starved raccoon. Someone should really say something." But the other times (most times) (actually, all the time), I do it anyway. Why should I be restricted by social norms? Why should I be a product of the system? As I pour food into my mouth, you should be praising my ingenuity and writing down everything I say. Obviously I'm on some sort of higher mental plane.
I adopted a new practice based on this idea: Eating cereal out of a cup while driving to work. Who has time to sit around and eat breakfast in the morning? And why should a spoon or a fork be used to transfer food from one container to another? Just put it all in a cup and pour it down your throat. #food
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