DNE is math terminology for Does Not Equal.  Actually, it really means Does Not Exist, but that doesn't apply to my statement.  Marriage ≠ kids.  Or marriage != kids.  Nya!  [Pushes up taped glasses] [Surrenders lunch money upon request]

My least favorite thing about being married is that everyone assumes that marriage equals kids.  I feel quite a bit of pressure concerning this.  When you're dating, no one asks, "So are you thinking about kids?"  There's still that unwritten taboo that having kids out of wedlock is somehow wrong.  But as soon as you're married, that's all anybody talks about.  "Any buns in the oven?"  No.  I just graduated college.  I just spent 80% of my life in school.  I've had no time to be myself.  Now you expect me to care for another human being?  A human being that can't control its bowel movements?  And I just got married.  Can't I have a little time to enjoy being a young married person?  With no kids?  I understand the argument that kids come from marriage.  That makes sense.  But give me some time.  C'mon.  I'll have kids as soon as I grow up.