Kang Apr 6, 2005
Why are things in my little world so funny?  I met a Korean guy at Fort Benning today.  His name is Capt. Kang.  If you can say that without thinking of the obvious similarity to Captain Kangaroo (and laughing), you're better than me.  Also in the army is the idea that the average soldier is pretty dumb and can break anything.  Captain Kang said, "Joe will find a way to break it."  And another guy said something about a product being "joe-proof."  You can't make this stuff up! #sociology
Bathroom etiquette Apr 4, 2005
I think that the human race must agree on a simple set of guidelines regarding bathroom etiquette.  This is in response to many, many breaches in etiquette.

1.  The bathroom is not a place for conversation.
2.  You shall not use a urinal right next to a urinal that is in use if another one is available.  Use a stall.
3.  You shall not use a urinal right next to another urinal that is not separated by a divider.  Use a stall.
4.  You shall not talk to someone while you or they are sitting in a stall.
5.  You shall not use a stall right next to a stall that is in use if another one is available.  Come back later.
6.  You shall not use a stall without closing the door.
7.  You shall not use a sink right next to a sink that is in use if another one is available.  Wait or just leave.
8.  You shall not use a sink right next to a urinal that is in use.  Wait or just leave.

Maybe you should take the Choose-A-Urinal Challenge.  This isn't rocket science, people.  It should be common sense.  I guess some people don't have that stuff.  For more information, visit The International Center for Bathroom Etiquette. #entertainment
Pride Apr 4, 2005
Pride is the root of all sin.  It's at the bottom of everything we do wrong.  It was there at the beginning, when Eve said to the serpent, "Yeah you're right.  God and Adam don't know what they're talking about.  This fruit won't kill me."  It was there when Lucifer wanted to have as much power as God.  This is why he was cast out of heaven.  It's in us when we say "Why does bad stuff happen to good people?  Why is there suffering in the world?  Why does evil exist?" because we're saying we know better than God.  It's there with rape/murder/theft/assault, because it's saying, "I'm better than this person."  It's there with sex before marriage, because it's saying, "I know God doesn't want me to do this, but God just doesn't understand the situation I'm in."

I think you can break everything down to this one thing:  pride.  More to come later. #religion
Sickness Apr 1, 2005
Similar to my beliefs about death, I think that sickness and disease exist to draw us closer to God.  Pretend for a moment that you're God:  you create the heavens and the earth and put some people on the earth.  In a very short time, they forget about you because they're distracted by what's happening on their planet.  So you make them realize that they won't be there forever by letting some plants and animals die.  But they don't understand; they just cook the dead animals and eat them.  So you make some people die, hoping that other people will realize that they too will die someday.  But all this does is cause fear and anger towards you, their creator.  You pull out some of your hair and take a deep breath.  So you figure, "I know:  I'll make them sick so that they're close to death, but they don't actually die.  Then they'll realize that they may die at some point, but it won't make anybody scared or mad."  But then some dude comes along and figures out how to heal the sickness you gave to your creation.  So you have to think of something else that they can't fix.  But each time you give them a sickness, they figure out how to cure it; they're very resourceful little things.  So amidst all this stuff, your sole purpose was to help your creatures remember you.  Now stop pretending you're God because that's not good. #religion