What's the deal with printers?  They have one purpose on this earth:  to print.  Why do they not print?  Why do they get "jammed"?  Why is that even possible?  You'd think that if we spend several thousand dollars on a brand new, state-of-the-art, high speed laserjet printer, maybe -- just maybe -- the stupid thing might work.

I don't believe in IT people, so I fixed the problem myself.  As I opened the behemoth, I had to find my way through a million mile maze, with wheels and knobs whose purpose I couldn't even begin to identify.  All for what purpose?  An 8.5 x 11-inch piece of paper.  Now, I'm no genius.  I'm a mere child.  But you'd think that somehow, in some way, some incredibly smart rocket scientist (or brain surgeon) could find a way to invent a magical printing machine that could overcome obstacles such as a piece of paper that's [at most] 2/100 of an inch thick.

This brings up another good point.  Aren't cell phones great?  You can buy a cell phone that's as powerful as a moderate laptop computer, has as much memory as a small Ipod, and can take a picture rivaling some digital cameras.  It can fold up and fit in your pocket.  It can remind you to wake up in the morning.  And don't forget all those games and ringtones!  Now here's an idea:  perhaps we could assemble the most amazing team of brilliant engineers and super-scientists, and maybe they could come up with a way -- bear with me here -- to actually make a cell phone receive calls.  I know, I know.  I ask for a lot.  Maybe I'm talking about impossible futuristic technology here.  In that case, I'm content with my cell phone that only gets reception in places that I don't live (i.e. doesn't get reception in my dorm room, my parents house, or my apartment).  But if they ever come up with this technology, I'd like to try it out.