Twitter sale (5) Apr 28, 2009
I signed up for a Twitter username when the service came out about two years ago, and I promptly dismissed it as a meaningless, useless service.  I stand by that claim.  The idea behind Twitter is to post status updates, like a blog, but smaller.  I already have a blog, so it's of no use to me.  Another idea is to keep up with friends' status updates, but I can do that by reading email and blogs.  Another idea is to keep a public record of conversations, but I fail to see the point in that.  No matter how much I think about it, Twitter is something I will never understand. 

However, in my infinite wisdom (or my unending desire to use my initials for everything -- hence ddhr) I signed up for a nice short username:  twitter.com/dh.  I posted about three messages, most of which went something like, "I still don't understand Twitter."  Every month or so I would get an email saying that some new person was following me, which seemed odd because I hadn't posted anything for over two years.  People were following the status updates of a person who never updated his status, adding to my failure to understand Twitter. 

Last week I received an email from a guy who said one of his "clients" was interested in purchasing my Twitter username/password.  He asked me to name my price.  I laughed.  How can you put a price on something that has no value?  But since it apparently was valuable to someone else, I pulled a number out of the air:  $500.  My emailer consulted with his client and said, "Sounds good."  This sounded all too much like a scam, so I asked him how I could trust him to not just take my password and not pay me.  He whipped up a quick legal-ish agreement on paper, signed it, emailed it to me, and asked me to sign it and fax it back.  I figured I could trust a person with his own fax number.  Plus, I didn't really stand much to lose.  I'd be giving up my username and password for a service I had no use for.  It wasn't necessarily a win-win, but it certainly wasn't a lose-lose. 

Long story short, I signed the agreement, emailed him my password, and promptly received a $500 PayPal payment.  I still can't believe it worked.  My emailer said this type of thing happens more often than you'd imagine, similar to the purchase of domain names.  Still, I don't quite understand what kind of person/company would want to pay money for a username on a third-party website.  It makes sense to buy a domain name because your dot-com typically represents your company or brand.  But I can't imagine your twitter-dot-com-slash should really be used as your official moniker.  Oh well.  Me:  $500; Twitter:  $0. #technology
Favicon v3 Apr 23, 2009
I quietly updated my favicon to match my current theme, which means I'm only about 15 months late. 
[Image: faviconblued.png]
Previous favicon update here.  I stuck with the idea of simple geometric shapes and colors.  I'm not very good at drawing. #technology
Office 2007 blows Apr 22, 2009
At work, the IT overlords forced us to upgrade to Microsoft Office 2007, which would seem to make sense because the version we had been using was at least 6 or 7 years old.  Not that you should always upgrade old software when it gets past a certain age, but newer versions of software often have improvements that can help you do your job.  Such is not the case with Office 2007.  Here's why: 
  1. It's slow.  This isn't solely a Microsoft problem.  It's an everybody problem.  All new software is slower, less useful, and more bloated than old software.  They say it works best when used on some Pentium octo-core 12GHz processor.  Guess what, idiots:  I still simply use Word for word processing and Excel for calculations.  If my uses haven't changed, the hardware requirements shouldn't change either.
  2. It's ugly.  Many people disagree with me on this, and that's fine.  But the fact of the matter is that the entire user interface is changed, and as a creature of habit, I don't like change.  Hence it's ugly.  Also, I don't like ClearType.  It hurts my eyes for some reason.  Thankfully, Microsoft didn't give me the option to disable it.  Awesome.
  3. It's different.  This is the most important thing to me.  Microsoft Office has essentially been the same product since I started using it circa 1998.  The new versions that came out (2000, XP, 2003) never changed the core functionality to an extent that I would even notice.  There were a few slight UI changes, but other than that, the product went through a long cycle of constant improvements.  But with 2007, everything is different.  There's a ribbon bar instead of toolbars.  The menu system is completely different.  When starting a Word document, I have no idea how to change styles.  When using Excel, I feel like I have to relearn the program I've been using half my life.  And that's the kicker:  Software should help you get stuff done; it should never get in the way.  Office 2007 gets completely in the way of me getting my stuff done.
I'm seriously considering downgrading. 

Update:  I downgraded to 2003, and Microsoft Office is usable again. #technology
PowerPoint pagination Apr 16, 2009
Attention universe:  When viewing a PowerPoint presentation, use the left arrow key, the up arrow key, or the page up key to go to the previous slide instead of right clicking and selecting "Previous".  I can't believe how many people don't know this and how much time is wasted waiting for Mr. I Communicate Solely Through PowerPoint Yet Have No Idea How To Perform Simple Tasks to click the stupid mouse. #technology
Dream gadget revisited Mar 31, 2009
A few years ago I wrote that I'd like a GPS-enabled camera-phone-ipod-gaming-system to satisfy all my gadget needs in one device.  The more I think about it and experience various attempts at such, the less I like my idea.  The problem with all-in-one devices is that they do everything, but they don't do anything well.  A great example is my current smartphone/PDA/whatever-you-want-to-call-it.  It's a phone with a camera and a mini computer, which means it can also play music and store lots of information.  The thing is, it really only does about two of those things well.  The camera is dismal, and the music-playing capability was essentially an afterthought.  I guess these things will get better as technology matures.  It's just hard to get past the fact that single-purpose devices like iPods and digital cameras do one thing very well, but when combined with other devices tend to get much worse. #technology
Podcasting revisited Mar 27, 2009
I changed my mind on podcasts, largely because I recently received a pre-owned iPod (my first Apple device; yes I'm late to the game), and also because I discovered some high-quality podcasts in internetland.  Instead of some dorks talking about their websites, the podcasts I've been listening to are like pre-recorded talk radio segments.  There are news podcasts, opinion podcasts, and a bunch of in-depth reporting on unusual topics (yes, these are all NPR-related).  Either way, it's a good alternative to radio since it died a few weeks ago. #technology
Mother of invention (1) Mar 16, 2009
They say necessity is the mother of invention, but I would argue that laziness is an important factor too.  Do we really need TV remotes that change channels by sending infrared signals through the air, or do we just not feel like getting up?  Do we really need those Roomba robotic vacuum cleaners to vacuum our floors, or do we just not feel like doing it ourselves?  (On a side note, I would argue that many of the inventions that involve robotics are essentially centered around laziness and some guy in a lab saying, "I don't feel like doing this.  Maybe I can design a robot to do it for me.") 

Another mother of invention turns out to be sports and leisure.  I noticed this as I was on a ski lift going up a mountain in Vermont this past weekend.  Huge machines that looked like scorpions were carving snow with their "tails" to make a giant half-pipe.  It was immediately evident that these machines were designed and created exclusively for this purpose, so that skiers and snowboarders could spend their winter weekends doing tricks and avoiding catastrophic head injuries. 

I guess it just amazes me that entire industries are formed and countless dollars are spent in the advancement of science and technology, often for questionable gain.  But I don't mind; the half-pipe keeps all the dirty teenagers busy so they take up less space on the rest of the mountain.  It's a win-win. #technology
Antisocial networking Feb 27, 2009
I closed my Facebook account the other day, not that I ever used it anyway.  I got sick of receiving occasional emails about friend requests, especially from people I know in real life.  Why do we need to be digital friends if we're already real life friends?  The thing is, I never got into Facebook in the first place.  I signed up for an account a few years ago just to check it out, but I never got past the first few minutes of using it.  I still don't quite understand the point of it.  I'm supposed to connect with people I haven't heard from in a long time?  Why would I want to do that?  The appeal is lost on me.  Plus, I already have an online place where I write things and post pictures.  It's this here website.  Why should I get into something that apparently performs the same function?  I'll also be closing my MySpace account soon for the same reasons, and a few more.  MySpace is to Facebook what Paterson is to Hoboken.  Not only is it useless to me, it's painfully, eye-pokingly ugly and full of high school kids.  I generally try to avoid things where teenagers are the primary demographic. #technology
Spam profundity Feb 23, 2009
I got a spam email today from Cindy.  Here's what she said: 
"It has been long time since we did not meet. I hope everything is okay with you."
How can there be any time since an event that didn't happen?  Maybe life is like a CD on repeat, and as soon as it gets to the end of the last song, it plays again from the beginning.  And maybe Cindy is onto it, and she remembers the previous play-through, which included the time we met.  It's one of those things that makes your head hurt. 

She went on to tell me about a wonderful website where I can buy all kinds of medications online.  How thoughtful of her. #technology
Replacement software Feb 13, 2009
Several times in the past few months, I've begun the painful yet sometimes enjoyable process of finding free software to replace some of my existing expensive proprietary software.  I downloaded and installed OpenOffice to replace Microsoft Office.  I considered giving Ubuntu another shot.  I tried a couple Matlab clones. 

And here's the conclusion I've reached:  Unless there's a specific negative reason why you want to switch to a different program that does the same thing (e.g. "I hate how it always does this" or "I can't get it to do what I want"), other than the fact that it's free and not made by a big faceless software company, it's not worth the trouble because you'll end up spending all your time trying to get the replacement software to perform the same functions as the replaced software.  As much as I'd like that to not be true, it just can't be avoided.  If you know how to use your software and it does what you want, there's no reason to switch. #technology