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Customer service hero fantasy Fri, Aug 11, 2017
One of my fantasies for if I somehow became filthy rich would be to get an entry level job in customer service.  I've seen and heard stories about customer service reps dealing with the shittiest people on earth who are trying to return things after the return date or who are angry about the amount of time something takes.  You see this usually young, helpless person try their best to calmly deal with and meet the demands of an adult child, all while making close to minimum wage.  It's a thankless job. 

My fantasy would be to treat people the way they should be treated:  As assholes.  "What do you mean I can't return a half-eaten burrito?"  Get out of my store.  Don't come back.  Cry about it on Twitter, I don't care.  "I want to speak with your manager."  Too bad.  Get fucked.  He doesn't care about you.  "I have things to do today."  Boo hoo.  You want some cheese with that wine?  "I'll take my business elsewhere."  Good.  Do that.  See ya! 

Then I'd be the fall guy for when that type of thing went poorly.  Sometimes people don't want a solution to their problems.  They just want someone to get punished.  I would be the recipient of that punishment.  I'd say my mean things to win the day, then when the manager said "That's inappropriate behavior for employees at this company" I'd walk out of the store to the cheers of my coworkers. #business


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