|If I could reincarnate as anything, I'd obviously want to be a bird, because ... flying. But not just any bird. I'd want to be a water bird. Not a water bird like a stupid penguin, which can't fly. But an actual flying, swimming bird. Birds like ducks, geese, and seagulls can walk, they can fly, and they can swim. Fucking badass.
Ducks are cute, but lack a certain fearsomeness. Geese have those long necks and they just look at you like they want to cause you physical harm. But only a seagull can survive just as well near the ocean as in a random suburban parking lot. I think it's due to their ability to eat anything and everything, including garbage. As hated as they are, they have possibly the best chance of surviving the near-certain apocalypse that awaits our dumb bipedal species.
Seagulls: Land, sea, and air. And garbage dumps. #nature