|It took me up until about a few weeks ago to realize that I hate large gatherings and I don't have to feel bad about it. I'm an introvert, and I find large groups of people intimidating and unnerving. Who am I supposed to talk to? Where should I stand? Why is everyone watching me? The whole thing is terrible, and what I realized is that I can simply not go. I didn't go to a BBQ at work. It felt awesome. I'm not going to a wedding reception this weekend. Couldn't feel better about it. I wish I realized this sooner in life.
This all stems from a few particular things about introversion. One is that being around people is draining for me. My energy comes from being alone, or not interacting with other people much. The other is the quality of interaction I experience at large gatherings. If I don't know people, will we talk about where we live or work? Pass. If I do know people, will the setting be intimate enough to talk about things, or will the music be too loud to hear anything? I value conversation, but only when it gets past the introductory stuff. If it's just simple stuff, I can play along for a little while, or I could just skip the event entirely. I think I'll just skip the event entirely. #psychology