From The Onion, for the children: 
Tragedy struck the town of Maple Grove last night when a monster broke into the room of six-year-old Barry Davies.  The creature brutally murdered and devoured the boy despite the presence of a protective Power Rangers nightlight.  A forensics report says the beast violently shook the child, making him tastier through the release of flavor-enhancing adrenaline.  The monster tore off and ate the boy's limbs first, enjoying his screams until the very end.  The Consumer Product Safety Commission is calling for a full-scale investigation into the nightlight's failure.
Sweet dreams. #products