This just in from the Onion Radio News: 

Rules grammar change:  English traditional replaced be new syntax.  The Onion Radio News it's, Redland Doyle I'm.  The US Grammar Secretary that no more will rules English follow announced today.  The changes verbs, verb clauses, and adjectives placing involved frequent with random shuffling or elimination conjunctions and prepositions of.  Grammar Secretary to according:  "Is new structure loosely on obscure 800-year-old pre-medieval Anglo-Saxon syntax based."  This week beginning American across all dictionaries, highway signs, and other books or objects writing upon revised to fit new syntax will be.

This is one of my favorite Onion things ever.  It's almost identical to a story they published over a decade (!) ago.