Godchange Oct 15, 2009
I believe that God is in the business of changing people, not circumstances. #religion
Behind the mirror Oct 15, 2009
I was standing at the sink in the bathroom at work yesterday, fixing my makeup or whatever it is I do at the sink in the bathroom at work, when a guy at a nearby urinal said something to me. 

Before I continue, can we please, as a society, as a group of grown adult people with educations and jobs and common sense, all just agree that bathroom interactions must stop altogether, immediately?  There is absolutely no need for conversations or small talk or even the slightest interaction when we enter a room that is specifically designed for collecting the contents of our bowels.  Moving on. 

So this guy says to me as I'm looking in the mirror, "Imagine if there was someone behind the mirror looking back at you."  I briefly calculated the distance to the door and how quickly I'd need to run to escape this strange man, but after sizing him up, I figured I could probably punch his head right off his neck if given a good enough reason. 

I replied, "Heuh," which is sort of a combination between a questioning "huh?" and a nervous laugh "heh".  I specifically geared my response to end the conversation by acknowledging his ridiculous comment while not really replying one way or the other.  I continued checking my makeup, or whatever, and assumed we were done. 

He continued.  "Wouldn't that be funny?  If there was a person behind the mirror looking back at you." 

I glanced over at him standing at the urinal.  I was once told I should make eye contact with people who are speaking to me.  I made eye contact, he stopped talking, and I started to walk out.  I was halfway out the door when I heard him say, "I guess that would be illegal though." 

I paused in the doorway, which, by the way, is right near a maze of cubicles.  Yes, bathroom stranger, that would in fact be illegal.  I'm pretty sure you would go to jail.  But let's continue talking about this extremely awkward topic in this extremely awkward setting.  Please, keep going.  I'm interested in what you have to say.  I'm enthralled by your choice of words and the way in which you stitch them together to form sentences. 

I decided to end this conversation.  I gave a firm "Yeah," both confirming his legal uncertainty and adding a little extra emphasis for good measure.  And I walked out of the bathroom, away from this strange character, thinking that maybe I should start bringing a weapon when I need to check my makeup.  Or whatever. #entertainment