Beer can wake brawl Apr 8, 2009
Beer can.  Wake.  Brawl.  Let's see ... how can we put these words together to form a story? 

Ah ha!  Woman with beer can in hand starts brawl at wake.  Bingo! 

As with many things, I feel this story would be best conveyed in list form: 
  1. There was a wake
  2. At a church
  3. Woman showed up with beer can in hand
  4. Woman was asked to leave but refused
  5. Woman scratched man's face
  6. Man's mother kicked woman in chest
I love every part of this article. #entertainment
Whole cashews Apr 8, 2009
I recently made the mistake of buying cashew halves and pieces instead of whole cashews.  I figured, "Meh, they're like half the price and they perform the same function.  Good enough for me."  Boy was I wrong.  Yes, they're half the price and they perform the same function, but they're not good enough for me.  I realize that whole cashews are sort of a luxury, and the halves and pieces are like the broken potato chips in the bottom of the bag:  They're an inevitable bi-product of the manufacturing process, and rather than being thrown out, they're sold to schmucks like me at a reduced price.  Well not anymore.  There was this pivotal moment when I looked at the few dollars I saved and thought to myself, "You know what, I'm worth it.  I have a job, I pay my taxes, I didn't foreclose on my house.  I deserve whole cashews."  So today I bought whole cashews. #food
Observe and Report pre-review Apr 8, 2009
Seth Rogen stars in Observe and Report, one of the best mall cop movies you'll see this year. #entertainment
Drip Apr 8, 2009
#nature