|Hey listen, buddy. I know you think you're being discrete and polite by blowing your nose into your reusable handkerchief, but let's get one thing straight: It's disgusting. You can't possibly think you're being even remotely health conscious, can you? I mean not only are your snots all over this cloth, but now your pocket is full of snots too, which means every time you put your hand in your pocket, you're getting more snots on your hand. God forbid you shake anyone's hand or, hell, even touch a doorknob. Because although you might feel fine today, you're spreading your disgusting nose goblin snot germs all over the place, all the while thinking you're conserving tissues and being civilized.
If you use handkerchiefs, you support terrorism. #health