An Australian man, upon being awoken by an intruder breaking through a window and jumping on his bed, had this to say:  "My initial thought when I was half awake was, 'It's a lunatic ninja coming through the window.'"  He was later relieved to discover it was merely a kangaroo, which had to be wrestled outside in a state of confusion and panic. 

The reason I'm posting this is because the only reason someone would say something like that is so that people like me would link to his story on the internet.  So there you go, sir. #nature