The suburbs don't have taxis.  Instead, we have black Lincoln Continentals with leather seats that perform the exact same function as taxis, but for ten times the price.  Oh, and they're called limos.  Not limos as in stretch limos.  Limos as in black taxis that cost $100 to drive to the airport. 

Anyway, I have the sneaking suspicion that all limo drivers attend the same limo driver school, which teaches them to (a) drive erratically, (b) leave their blinkers on after they've made a turn, and (c) use their brakes as often as possible, especially while on the highway and especially when no brake use is even remotely necessary. #travel