As a married couple with plans to eventually have kids, Wendy and I sometimes think about stealing one that's already born, to save us the trouble of pregnancy and hospital bills and things like that.  The thought usually crosses our mind at places like churches, which are ripe with children.  We'll see one that's about one or two years old and say to each other, "We could just take this one.  Look, it already walks and says funny things.  We could just steal it and walk out, and I bet nobody would even notice."  So far we haven't gone through with any plans, but we're still looking. 

On a related note, Wendy helps out in the toddler room at church, where she persuades two-year-olds to not hit each other and to keep objects out of their mouths.  After the church service, parents show up to pick up their kids, and the process is similar to a puppy adoption at a pet store.  I join in the fun by saying things like, "I'll take that cute little one with the blond hair.  Ooh, and maybe that one with the overalls."  I try not to do this too soon after I've shaved my head so I don't appear to be too much of a psycho. #psychology