I sometimes go to this semi-new-age church called Liquid.  I don't like the term new-age because it has a negative connotation.  But this church is new-age in that it has young pastors, loud music, flashing lights, and flat-screen TVs.  After choosing the name Liquid, they seem to have followed the pattern of naming everything after a property or type of liquid.  The middle school youth group is called Surge, and the high school one is called Flood.  If I was in charge, I would expand upon this naming convention for the following groups and churchy things: 
  • Ocean - Sunday church service
  • Pond - small groups
  • Squirt - nursery
  • Trickle - old people ministry
  • Splash - baptisms
  • Evaporation - worship (as in giving back to God)
  • Spit - answered prayer (as in God giving back to us)
  • Drip - tithes and offerings (as in adding to the ocean)
Other words that could fit the naming convention:  Sprinkle, spillover, wash, puddle, river, flow, spout, droplet, wave, tide, crest, ebb, and undertow.  I could do this all day. #religion