Loser bumper stickers Jul 21, 2008
I find it odd that people keep bumper stickers on their cars from previous elections (W 2004), especially when the candidate on their bumper sticker lost the election (Kerry/Edwards 2004).  Regardless of your political beliefs, you're still rooting for the loser.  Take the stupid thing off. #travel
Funny town names Jul 21, 2008
Funny town names from this past weekend's adventure: 
  1. Horseheads, NY
  2. Hop Bottom, PA
  3. Scotrun, PA
#travel
On MMA Jul 18, 2008
Mixed martial arts, or MMA, is a sport that mixes several different styles of martial arts in a competition between two trained athletes, where the winner is determined by a knockout, a submission, or a judge's decision.  The standard combination of martial arts styles consists of one part striking (boxing, kickboxing, Muay Thai) and one part grappling (wrestling, Jiu-Jitsu).  Just as there are several different leagues that represent the sport of American football (NFL, CFL, XFL, etc.), there are several different MMA "leagues" including UFC, IFL, Pride, EliteXC, Affliction, etc.  The UFC is probably the most well-known and recognizable, largely because of its expansion onto non-pay-per-view TV and reality shows. 

The UFC started in the early 1990s as a competition to determine the "best" style of martial arts.  To level the playing field, there were no rules (a.k.a. "no holds barred").  The sport quickly deteriorated into a spectacle and was condemned by detractors (especially Arizona Senator John McCain) as a brutal blood sport, comparable to human cockfighting.  Things went downhill until no state would legally sanction an MMA fight, at which point things went underground.  In the late 1990s, the UFC changed ownership and worked with several state athletic commissions (the legal bodies that either allow or deny sporting events to take place) to decide upon a universal set of rules for the sport.  The rules were minimal, but highly effective at minimizing serious injury and making the sport more of a sport and less of a show.  This change essentially paved the way for the sport's vast (though not total) public acceptance. 

Today, many newscasters and public figures still criticize the sport for being too brutal and barbaric, citing the "human cockfighting" argument from 15 years ago.  I've heard people say that we're a civilized society, so there's no place for a violent, bloody sport that looks like it's from ancient Olympic times.  People are even further outraged to learn that children can sometimes compete in MMA competitions.  Won't someone please think of the children? 

I'm personally a fan of MMA.  I think it's an entertaining sport that takes a lot of skill to practice, and I admire the men and women who do so.  When somebody can solve a math problem that I can't solve, I'm not that impressed.  But when somebody can take a punch and deliver a kick in return, I'm impressed.  The level of skill involved in MMA has grown exponentially from when it started, and the expertise and stamina of the athletes is nothing short of amazing.  It used to be that any old Joe could get in the cage and have at it.  But these days, competitors need to rise up through the ranks of the local and state competitions in the hopes of making it to the big leagues.  "Punching hard" or "being in shape" are no longer the only criteria for entry. 

On a more philosophical level, I feel that MMA is almost hard-coded into our genes.  Maybe not MMA specifically, but certainly some form of combat.  The varying accounts of our planet's first human beings always contain some sort of physical conflict.  Using the Bible's examples, Cain killed Abel, Jacob wrestled with God, and David slung a rock at Goliath.  I'm not saying that violence is a good thing, but it seems to be part of who we are.  The ancient Greeks were perhaps the first people to turn fighting into a sport, and this was the basis of the Olympic games.  But that fighting often ended in death, which isn't good for either competitor.  Only today have we taken the positive aspects of fighting -- the competition, the physical strength, the technique -- and turned it into an activity that's meant to be just that -- an activity.  It's a sport, not a fight.  It's a competition, not a death match. 

So to say MMA is barbaric and violent is to miss the point.  All sports are violent.  Only in American football do 300-lb athletes run into each other head first at full speed, only to do it again and again, hundreds of times per game.  Only in baseball are athletes permitted to throw a 5-oz ball 90 mph at an opponent and hope to hit a 2-foot wide target just to the left or right.  Only in soccer do athletes form a human wall 10 meters from the ball, using only their hands to protect their "vitals", in the hopes of stopping a 60-mph ball kicked by an opponent. 

My point is that all sports are barbaric in their own way, yet we love them.  Sports are a national pastime and even an identity in some places.  The fact that MMA's violence comes in the form of punches, kicks, joint locks, and strangle holds shouldn't detract from its value as a sport.  I will, however, concede that the sport is not for all spectators.  It's violent, bloody, and looks painful.  But once you understand the fact that it's an athletic competition and not a personal fight, you'll get a better idea of why it became a sport in the first place. #sports
Better than you (2) Jul 16, 2008
One day a few years ago, Wendy and I were at a family function with Wendy's then 8-year-old niece, Sabryna.  Sabryna, like any kid, was playing outside and got something in her hair.  Here's the conversation that transpired: 
Wendy:  Hey Sabryna, you have something in your hair.
Sabryna:  That's ok.  I'm better than you.
The End
That was a life-changing experience for me.  What better comeback is there than "I'm better than you"?  It wasn't so much a comeback as just a general statement.  A fact.  "I like your shirt."  That's ok.  I'm better than you.  "Do you want something to eat?"  Nope.  I'm better than you.  "How was school today?"  Better than you.

In a strikingly similar instance, my friend Bob once went to a bar and had the following exchange with the waiter: 
Bob:  Hey, how's it going?
Waiter:  Better than you.
To this day, Bob still brings this up as a major turning point in his life.  How could a waiter say that?  How does he know he's better?  It's angering, dumbfounding, frustrating, and confusing.  Which is why it works so well in so many conversations. #psychology
Driving food tray Jul 15, 2008
Some day, I hope somebody invents a food tray that can be used while driving.  It would wrap around your neck and position itself perpendicular to your chest, so you could eat crumbly foods like coffee cake muffins without getting crumbs all over your car.  There's a similar product for babies that catches the food that doesn't make it into their mouths, but it produces disgusting results like soggy half-chewed food, which children often try to re-eat.  My device would be more of a tray than a trough.  In addition to keeping the car cleaner, it would make driving while eating safer because the driver would be able to devote more attention to driving and less on making sure their sandwich doesn't fall out of their lap and explode on the floor. #travel
Politics fail Jul 14, 2008
I was at a concert Saturday night, and the band had a big banner behind their drummer with their name and logo on it.  The banner was in place throughout their set, just in case you forgot who you were listening to.  Immediately following their last song, the banner descended, showing a picture of Barack Obama. 

The concert was in Pawtucket, Rhode Island, and the headliners were the Dropkick Murphys, an Irish punk band hailing from the Boston area, made famous by their songs' inclusion at Red Sox games.  For the casual reader, this means that pretty much the entire audience was a bunch of young, drunk, Massholes (a technical term), famed for their extreme leftist thought and their democratic politics. 

As the Obama poster became visible, I rolled my eyes and started my hatred for the band on the stage (the Mighty Mighty Bosstones).  I'm a firm believer in the separation of celebrities and politics.  No famous person, simply because they're well-known and recognizable, should have the right to spew their personal political opinions to groups of attentive onlookers.  Just because you're a good musician or a famous actor doesn't give you the privilege of lecturing people and gaining followers for your political leanings.  That's like being an astronaut and preaching against cholesterol medication.  Fame shouldn't equal influence. 

Nevertheless, an amazing thing happened that night.  The band finished playing, the Obama poster became visible, I rolled my eyes ... and then ... wait for it ... the crowd started booing.  Yes, booing.  I'm not sure if it was the biggest coincidence in the history of the universe (a bunch of young republican Massachusetts residents all at the same concert on the same night), or if they agreed with me about the separation of state and status.  But either way, it was great to see a group of people stand up for their political independence.  It was the biggest, best, and most enjoyable political fail I've ever witnessed. 

(For the record, it didn't matter if the poster had a picture of Obama, McCain, Bush, Bin Laden, or Barney.  All politics should be off limits at non-political events.) #politics
Wipeout on ABC Jul 11, 2008
The ABC show Wipeout might be the best thing to appear on television in quite a while.  Reminiscent of Most Extreme Elimination Challenge, the concept is stupidly simple:  Have people complete a series of obstacle courses, with the winner receiving $50,000.  But the obstacle courses are specifically designed to be difficult or nearly impossible, and the contestants are usually nowhere near being in any kind of physical shape.  The most common result:  Faceplants.  When people fall down or slip up on one of the obstacles, it seems the most likely position to land in is face down.  Stupid as it sounds, it makes me laugh and is extremely entertaining.  And this makes for excellent television. #entertainment
Engineers and drawings Jul 10, 2008
One of the funnier things about working with all engineers is the drawings.  Of everything.  Instead of just explaining the work being done on his house, my co-worker used his marker board to draw a picture of it, likely to scale, complete with slope markings (since it was 2D) and before/after comparisons. #technology
True colors Jul 10, 2008
It's always weird to see your co-workers at non-work functions, especially when they dress differently for different occasions.  While at work, most people dress conservatively and try to look somewhat nice.  They wear clean pants.  Their shirts have collars.  But as soon as they leave that work environment, everything changes.  I worked with a guy whose non-work attire consisted of dainty white shoes, dark jean shorts with an elastic band, and a tucked-in t-shirt.  I couldn't take him seriously after that.  Just this morning I was in a class with a guy who normally wears khakis and a polo, but since it's an especially casual day at work today, he wore what must be his usual:  Boots, 90s jeans, and a t-shirt tucked in such that his cell-phone stood out like a pistol. #lifestyle
Green eggs (6) Jul 10, 2008
White eggs come from white chickens, while brown eggs come from brown chickens.  But no, green eggs don't come from green chickens.  Unbeknownst to me until last Saturday, green eggs literally do exist.  I thought they were made-up.  They're not darkly colored, but there's definitely a green tint to them.  There are two in my fridge at the moment.  They will be eaten within the next week. #food