Last night at a BBQ in rural New Jersey, a panel of experts determined the official hierarchy of band geeks.  Most people will note that all band people are geeks, so there's no need to make a distinction.  But people who currently or have in the past referred to themselves as band geeks demanded their shred of dignity and thus created a list, from most geeky to least. 
  1. Marching band geek.  These people are the biggest geeks.  What better way to proclaim your absolute lack of athleticism than to purposefully sit in the stands at football games and play a musical instrument?  Not only do these geeks perform poorly-arranged versions of 60s cover songs, they wear stupid uniforms and engage in synchronized marching.  Biggest geeks ever.
  2. Pep band geek.  The pep band is sort of like the marching band, but without the marching, and without the football.  They're usually seen at basketball games and other indoor sporting events where they proudly shout their athletic ineptitude.  Some may argue that they're actually more geeky than the marching band because they don't even do "cool" things like march or dress up in fancy costumes.  I say whatever.  A geek is a geek.  Moving on.
  3. Concert band geek.  Concert band is usually offered as an elective in high school.  Geeks practice their songs daily and put on a concert once or twice a year, usually playing classical music and show tunes.  Yes, show tunes.  GEEKS!
  4. Pit band geek.  The pit band is the group of highly-trained (and sometimes professional) musicians that play the accompanying music for the school play.  These geeks are above other band geeks because they're often quite talented and are given the privilege of sitting next to geeks who get paid to play music.  They'll occasionally be required to learn a new instrument, which is one of the highest honors in band-geekdom.
  5. Jazz band geek.  These geeks are the rebels of band geeks.  They play syncopated songs with irregular rhythm and often perform solos.  They've even been known to allow a guitarist to play with them, which, in the world of band geeks, is the most bad-ass thing you can do.  Jazz band geeks have even been known to throw wild parties while blasting Miles Davis and drinking wine coolers.  WINE COOLERS!
So there you have it.  The official band geek hierarchy.  For the record, I've been a part of 4 of the 5 types of bands mentioned, and the only reason I wasn't in the pep band was because my school didn't have one. #entertainment