Meetings and travel time (2) Feb 19, 2008
On Thursday, I'll be driving three hours for a meeting that might last as long as five hours, then driving another three hours home.  That's a total of six hours of travel for a five hour meeting.  I think we, as an intelligent, economical society, should create a rule regarding this.  Perhaps as follows: 
Rule 1:  "Travel time for a meeting shall not exceed one-half of the proposed length of the meeting."
That way, I'd only be allowed to travel two and a half hours total for my five hour meeting.  Alternately, my meeting would have to last twelve hours to make up for the six hours of travel time.  In that case I propose an amendment: 
Rule 1a:  "What are you, kidding?  A twelve hour meeting?  Don't you people realize meetings waste money?"
#business
Shotguns for zombies Feb 19, 2008
I've played a few video games in my day.  I wouldn't call myself a "gamer" per se.  I've never worn a headset while playing a video game.  But I've played enough to know I like first-person shooters, and I've played enough first-person shooters to notice a common thread:  Zombies.  I'm surprised by how many games are centered around the act of killing zombies.  And it's weird how the zombie-killing portion often doesn't show up until half-way through a game.  Both HALO (the first one) and Half-Life 2 have this in common.  I'm admittedly very late in playing the original HALO, but it's no surprise why the game got such great reviews.  I was thoroughly surprised, however, when my Sunday afternoon quickly went from casually killing aliens to frantically running from zombies.  My sniper rifle had to take a rest as I took out the one weapon that always kills zombies:  The shotgun. 

For whatever reason, shotguns kill zombies.  Machine guns do not.  Pistols don't work either.  And you're taking your life in your own hands if you think you can fight one with some sort of close combat weapon like a knife or the butt of a gun.  No matter what game, setting, or plot line, shotguns always kill zombies.  It's the only thing you ever need to know.  In video games, and in life. 

It's also interesting that zombies always come in four types: 
  1. Head crabs, which are little animals that attach to the head of a victim and turn them into a zombie
  2. Head crab hosts, which seem to carry a bunch of head crabs around in a sack
  3. Little zombies, which are small, fast, and jumpy
  4. Big zombies, which are slow, stupid, and easy to kill
By playing video games centered around zombies, it'll prepare us for real life, where the dead will one day rise and slowly, moaningly, come after us to eat us. #entertainment