The worst part about being the lesser half of a couple is that people treat you like crap. 

Yes, I'm the lesser part of the Wendy-Dave Duo.  Wendy's cooler than me.  People "like her."  She "has proper hygiene."  She "isn't awkward to talk to."  (For the uninitiated, these are references to Tommy Boy.)  And this if fine by me.  It makes my life easier because I don't have to try to be the social one (which I'm not). 

But a problem arises when I show up to events without my better half.  For example, last night I went to a Bible study.  It was cold, dark, and snowing as I stood outside the person's house and waited for them to answer the door.  The door was opened, and the first thing out of the person's mouth was, "Where's Wendy?"  I responded:  "Hey, how's it going?  She's traveling." 

As the lesser half, I know my role:  Clean the bathroom, do the dishes, speak when spoken to.  But for whatever reason, I feel that, as a human being, perhaps I could receive a proper greeting when I show up to your house.  I know you're disappointed to see me and not Wendy, but (1) at least try to hide it, and (2) say hi to me.  I don't ask for much out of life.  I keep quiet most of the time and get out of people's way.  I pay my taxes and help people when they move.  I don't want a pat on the back.  I just want to be acknowledged.  Ya jerk.